My husband likes my sister
Dear RB,
I have been married for two years, and we have a one year old daughter. My sister is staying with my husband and myself because she stays with my daughter during the days.
The problem is, I don’t like the way my husband looks at her when he thinks that I’m not looking. He gives her these sexy looks and makes suggestive comments, and it seems that she is embarrassed by it. How do I deal with this without losing my babysitter, and my husband?
– Worried
Dear Worried,
I can only imagine your distress. I believe like you, that this is not a good thing. And this is especially problematic as you recognise your sister’s embarrassment.
I believe that you must deal with this immediately. My suggestion is that initially, you talk to your husband only. Mention as casually as you can, that you overheard his recent jibe directed at your sister, and noted that she was embarrassed.
Then ask if he noticed her distress. Depending on what he says, I suggest that you ask him to be more careful as she is your younger sister and that she is in your home to help out. Add for his information, that if she is unhappy, then she will leave and then money for babysitting services will have to be found.
If he persists, I would suggest that you repeat your earlier conversation on the occasion of the next off-colour comment, within earshot of both persons. That should get some attention.
My very disturbing dreams
Dear RB,
What does it mean if you dream that you are having sex with a close relative? I have been having this dream for a while – about my brother – and it makes me feel icky. It’s not that I have these feelings for him at all, but I keep dreaming about us getting real close, and I’m worried that I may be sick in the head.
– Icky
Dear Icky,
I would not go so far as to say that you are sick in the head, but I certainly agree that there is a problem. This is not quite normal. May I suggest that you consider discussing this with a counsellor? Your parson or a counsellor at your church or at a medical centre will be able to talk with you and understand why you are having these dreams.
It could be nothing, but better safe than sorry. Good luck.
Need no-frills advice about relationships, sex or just about anything else? Send questions to RB Samuels c/o all woman, 42 Beechwood Ave Kgn 5; via email to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com or fax 968-2025. We’re sorry, but RB cannot provide personal responses.
