More, more, more…

GONE are the days when women were afraid to voice their needs and men — maybe not being sure how to satisfy their women — would only ensure that their needs were met.

Now both men and women have come to realise that good lovemaking is not solely dependent on the touching of body parts, but on setting the mood as well. Here are some things that can help to make lovemaking enjoyable, fulfilling, and leaving your partner coming back for more.

1. Set the mood: Setting the right mood for lovemaking is very important as it helps in the relaxation of both persons, while bringing more passion and desire to the act. The right mood can be set by soft, soothing background music, the soft sound of raindrops or even the addition of scented candles to the room. Also, mildly-scented air fresheners and flowers are good for creating that perfect mood.

2. The right time: While men are, for the most part, always ready to make love on the spot, this is not so for women. With this in mind don’t expect that a woman who just completed laundry and a day of hectic housework will just hop into bed and make hot, passionate love. Women make love with their minds and if she is burdened mentally, it is hard to expect much out of her. On the other hand, a happy, contented woman will drive her man wild. Therefore pick your time carefully.

3. The right atmosphere: Creating the right atmosphere is very important. Communicate with her often, let her know just how much you appreciate her. Little random gifts say a lot. Also help out around the house; leave her little naughty notes during the day that will have her blushing until she sees you in the evening. If she is at work, send her an e-mail or instant message teasing her and building the desire. Let her know how much you desire her and how much you want her.

4. Smelling right: Ensure that you both smell right. There is no bigger turn-off than bad odour during lovemaking. While bathing, take care to wash your ears, armpits, thighs, joints, and genitals thoroughly to ensure proper hygiene. Shave the armpits and hair on the pubic region and on and around genitals. Use lightly-scented soaps and body washes that will leave a pleasant scent.

5. The right lighting: While some persons prefer making love in the dark, dim light can give the feeling of real romance. This can be from candles placed strategically around the room, a coloured bulb or a night light. Bright lights can make persons uncomfortable especially if they are not quite comfy with their bodies. However, having some light will make you fully aware of how much your actions and reactions affect your partner, which is an added turn on.

6. Wine and chocolates: For wine lovers, drinking a glass while you dance with your partner while soft music plays in the background will give an adrenaline rush. This helps you to get close and cosy. Add chocolates to the mix and you are sure to have a heated session of lovemaking. Chocolates ar said to be an aphrodisiac.

7. Foreplay matters: If you start with full sex, you are more likely to get bored after a short time. While the sex may be fulfilling, it will be nothing to remember. Initiate with a little touch, small pecks on the lips and intense, tight hugs. As you get in the mood, hit the bed and explore each other even as you get to know every inch of your partner’s body — not only with your hands but with your lips and tongue. Remember, lovemaking is an art that not everyone can master, but if you know the right way, you will keep your partner coming back time and again.

— Donna Hussey-Whyte