Overcoming shyness
SOME mothers complain that their children are too shy, especially if the kids fail to speak to anyone outside of family or won’t play with their peers.
But paediatrician Dr Christine Hammond-Gabbadon believes that these behaviours are normal in young children, especially if they fear being separated from family.
“Shyness can be just normal like [reactions to] a new situation. If it’s pathological, meaning it interferes with the child’s normal function, then of course it’s a problem and they might need to get help psychologically,” she said.
“It could be related to fear, separation anxiety and a number of things. Children go through phases when they have separation anxiety, but if it goes beyond that, then of course it might be a problem,” she further added.
Children who are described as being shy usually portray antisocial behaviours such as refusing to speak to anyone, becoming withdrawn, hiding when being introduced to new people, not speaking up when they are in class, or refusing to play with peers.
“Some children take a little longer to make friends than others and so sometimes it’s best to just let them play alone. There is a time, too and this is a part of normal development, when children can’t interact and play; like if you give them a ball, they want to keep the ball to themselves,” explained the paediatrician.
But the doctor said this kind of attitude should stop by the time the children start school and become more mature.
“By the time they start, say, grade one, they should know how to share, how to form a line, how to interact, how to play well with others. If you still see those very shy behaviours then, it could be a signal that something is wrong,” she said.
She said that parents should also bear in mind that some children do suffer from developmental delays which are brought on by various disorders like as autism.
How parents can make their children less shy
1. Allow them to socialise with as many people as possible: Encourage your child to interact with other persons besides yourself from a very young age. Take them to areas where they will be able to play with other children and learn how to make friends. It’s nice to sometimes invite other children their age over to your house to play.
2. Be an example: If your child doesn’t see you talk to other people, then you can’t really expect them to be an extrovert. Children are very perceptive, and they might get the impression that anxiety is natural if they see you overly anxious when interacting with other people.
3. Do not force your child to socialise: Do not publicly berate your children for not speaking to others. Do not spank, criticise or force them to speak to other people. Instead, use positive methods to get them to break out of their shell, like commend or praise them when they share their toys with others or willingly go to a relative instead of clinging to you.
4. Enlist the help of your child’s teacher: Ask your child’s teacher to call on them more in class so they will be placed in a position where they have to speak out. Speaking a lot in public will build their confidence and make them more willing to interact with other people.
