Women, do you want chivalry or independence?
WHILE having a conversation recently with some of my friends on the issue of male/female relationships, my friend Shelly said something that got me thinking that women are really big hypocrites or full of double standards when it comes to certain things.
She remarked that it’s a ‘man’s job to shower his girl with gifts and spend pon her’. To me, this shows that women are not only selfish but big hypocrites when it comes to how they interact with their male partners or friends.
It’s a long-held view that men should be chivalrous. They should pull out the chairs for ladies; if a lady is entering a taxi/car the man should step out and put her in and so forth. While I don’t have a problem with this, I find that many women tend to say that men should do these things but at the same time they contend that they are/want to be independent.
What you ladies need to do is determine what it is you really want. I have personally stepped out of a car to put a woman in and was cursed for doing so. On another occasion, another lady I obliged scoffed, and didn’t even bother to come into the taxi. I wonder if women select the treatment they want when it suits them?
Secondly, when it comes to sex, the hypocrisy is also evident. Society believes that men are generally more interested in and are more caught up with sex. So, if we go by that theory, women shouldn’t place sex at the top of their lists, right? However, if the man that a woman is with does not ‘measure up’ in this department, you can be sure he will be kicked to the curb in no time or will definitely not be the only one doing the job.
Women would want everyone to believe that sex is not that important to their relationships when in fact it is and it is very hypocritical to point a finger at men. One only needs to read the many letters written to counsellors/doctors who have columns in the newspapers and you will see how preoccupied women are with sex, and it would seem this is even more so than men.
Another area of evidence is sexuality on TV, newspapers and in advertisements. I remember when a certain advertisement for an aphrodisiac wine was making the rounds on local television, there was this outcry from women all over. They said the ad portrayed women as mere sex symbols and was degrading to women. However, I bet these same women would have no problem with seeing half-naked men in ads. If women enjoy eye candy too, why is it that when women are shown clad in sexy outfits it’s shameful and demeaning, but when it’s men dressed or undressed for women to enjoy it’s OK?
A girl once told me this (and I will never forget), that ‘don’t you know that nice guys finish last’. It was the first time I was hearing that and I thought to myself, ‘if a girl can be saying this, then how can women be saying that they want a nice guy/man’. I find it highly hypocritical that a woman will say she wants a nice man but when he comes along he always loses out to the bad boy who has a flashy car.
And then there’s hypocrisy in showing affection. Many women believe that men are the ones who should make their women feel special. While I don’t have a problem with this, what I have a problem with is that men are required to do all the work and show all the interest while women sit back and enjoy being petted and pampered. This type of mindset goes back again to the notion that once a woman is fulfilling a man’s sexual needs everything is okay.
Men deserve and need to be pampered as well and to be showered with gifts. After all, we are human beings and despite the unfortunate mindset of us not being emotional, we are, and we enjoy our partners doing things for us that make us feel that we are special too.
