Positive DISCIPLINE
There are many ways to discipline children without using physical (hitting) or psychological (using negative and shameful words) violence. The techniques you choose as a parent or teacher should be appropriate for the age and stage of development of the child.
Here are some tips:
1. Set rules and expectations
Work with the child to set ground rules and clarify expectations. Agree on what the consequences are if these are not met. Apply consequences consistently.
2. Praise and encourage
Praise good behaviour. Celebrate each step children make in the right direction. Say things like ‘good job’, ‘well done’ and ‘I am proud of you’, to encourage the child.
3. Use rewards
Find different ways to reward children for good behaviour, including point or merit systems where children win awards.
4. Give responsibilities
Give children meaningful tasks and responsibilities, like keeping their room tidy. Children feel ownership and enthusiasm when they are included in decisions.
5. Talk with your child
One of the most effective ways to encourage positive behaviour is spending time talking. This allows you to get to the cause of unacceptable behaviour by learning why it happens.
6. Know your children
Get to know not only their likes and dislikes but their teachers, friends, hang-out spots and what they are involved with outside of the home or school. This helps you to better understand and monitor their behaviour.
7. Express love
Let children know they are loved regardless of how they behave. Make sure they know that your love is unconditional and will never go away. Express your love through hugs, kisses, telling them ‘I love you’ and encouraging them. When a child does something inappropriate, deal with the behaviour without using violent punishment.
Additional tips:
A. Use distractions: Allow the child to use the same energy but in a different way. Redirect the child to similar activities that shift the focus towards more acceptable behaviour.
B. Give time-outs: Children often need time to cool down and think about their behaviour. Time-outs should match the child’s age (one minute per year of age) and should be accompanied by an explanation of why the time-out is given.
C. Create accountability: Get children to apologise for their actions to those affected. They should take responsibility for their actions and commit to improving their behaviour.
D. Make amends: Help children figure out how to make up for the damage caused by their behaviour. For example, children should assist in fixing or paying for repairs for damage they cause.
E. Ignore attention-seeking behaviour: Some things are done to get attention. Get to know the child so you can identify attention-seeking behaviours. It is okay to ignore some of these behaviours sometimes, especially for younger children.
Source: Early Childhood Commission
