Position yourself for the wedding ring
FACE the facts. Dating the same person for many years is an amazing thing if you both enjoy each other’s company, but at some point along the journey, jumping the broom may cross your mind and lead you to wonder if you will ever get the ring.
Anthony Gordon, certified family educator/counsellor and relationship specialist said a woman positioning herself for the wedding ring should first mean that she is unconditionally loved by her man.
“Given the ‘unconditionality’ of the love that should mark the marriage relationship, the woman should ensure that she gets clear and certain evidence that this man really loves her, and that deep in her heart, she loves him equally. Among such evidence should be the fact that he respects her as a person; he is honest with her and treats her as his equal and not that he owns her; and he is prepared to share everything not just ‘his’ ring, with her,” Gordon said.
He added that deep within the traditional social psyche of humans is the understanding and expectation that most women look forward to being married, which elicits a sense of pride and attainment when she can hold up her left hand in a way to show off her wedding band.
“The wedding ring is a statement that ‘I am loved’, ‘I am taken’ and as King Solomon in his number one hit years ago said, ‘She wears my ring, to show the world that she is mine’.
“But I must reiterate that that the pride should come from the sentiments of the heart for which the ring signifies holy wedlock, and should never deteriorate and become a symbol of unholy deadlock,” he said.
Gordon, however, emphasised that there is no magical or mysterious power in the precious metal and the beautiful stones that make up this masterpiece of jewellery, so it is vain for women to merely position themselves to earn a wedding ring.
According to relationship counsellor Wayne Powell and Gordon, a woman might earn the ring by following these steps.
1. Being real
Powell said it is not advisable to pretend to impress a man. ” It is best to be yourself and let the man decide if he wants you just the way you are,” he said. Gordon, on the other hand, said maintaining a high sense of dignity works. “Do not sell yourself short for material gains. No multi-karat ring can be compared with your sense of self-esteem and self-worth.”
2. Don’t pressure your man
“Don’t put undue pressure on him to get married; it might just be a turn-off and further delay the process,” Powell said.
3. Don’t annoy him or be miserable
“Don’t ‘nengeh-nengeh’ in his ears because miserableness is not a virtue,” Powell said. But, while Gordon agrees that annoyance is a red flag, he said being discreetly friendly is a good move. “If you see a good man whom you love, and he won’t make the move, there is no law against you striking up the interest, as long as you do not make yourself overbearing and appear too desperate for his attention,” Gordon said.
4. Be in good standing with his family
Powell said women should establish good rapport with the man’s family and friends. “It is a good sign when his family, especially his mother and friends, like you,” he said.
5. Don’t be extravagant
Powell said insisting on an extravagant wedding may turn off your man. But Gordon said while your standards and expectations should be high, you should not come across as difficult to please. “Do not be overly conspicuous and make yourself difficult to please. Some women will not get married because they have some fanciful, Utopian expectation that cannot be reached by regular men,” he said.
6. Get counselling
“Be sure that you get professional premarital counselling to help you prepare to enjoy a long and lasting love, even outdoing the glistening of that circle of gold,” Gordon said.
