No ring, no problem

The law recognises extended common-law unions as legitimate, and more and more people are entering these unions. While some do so with the hope of getting married in the future, others say they’re quite content to live their lives without the promise of the ring so many covet. For them it’s no ring, no problem.

Doreen, 47:

When I was younger I used to fantasise about marriage and my husband. Now that I am a grown woman my rose-coloured glasses have come off. Marriage can be complicated especially in today’s world; it is not like it used to be back in the day. I have friends who, when they met their partners they were in love, and now they are on the verge of divorce.

Michelle, 39:

When I met my common-law husband, my intention was always to get married. However, he never popped the question. The years passed by so quickly! Not that I wouldn’t mind getting married, but I don’t mind our current arrangement at the moment. He provides for the family and he is a good father, so I mean why try and fix something if it is not broken?

Natalie, 34:

My partner and I are on the same page when it comes to our arrangement. We both understand why we don’t want marriage, at least not now. Some women need a ring as a trophy — a form of social proof that someone wants them. When I get married it will be for the right reasons.

Ricardo, 35:

Marriage is a legal contract. I think many people don’t completely understand this. For me a common-law relationship is like a taste of what is to come. During the common-law situation you can test out the relationship and see how it’s working before going into a marriage where there is no turning back. I don’t believe in divorce, and so when I marry my woman I have to be sure she is the one.

Dave, 30:

The actual act of getting married can be costly. We love each other for sure and we are committed to each other. But for now, we are holding off on the marriage thing until we can get our feet on solid ground financially.

Joy, 36:

We never planned to stay together; however, when the children came along we just made it work. He became the father and I the mother. Though a ring was never on my finger, he always treated me with respect and I admire that.

Charlene, 40:

My partner did in fact propose to me. I was his fiancée for months, until we gradually transitioned into this common-law arrangement over the years. It was not what I wanted; however, I don’t mind it.

Claudette, 43:

Growing up in the country, my parents weren’t married but they coexisted in the same house. They never really fought much. When I came to town, I saw common-law arrangements everywhere. So when I found someone who I loved, the natural progression for me was for us to be in a common-law relationship.