My daughter wants her stepdad’s name

Dear Mrs Macaulay,

I have been married for the last four years. My daughter, whom I had before I was married, wants to take my husband’s name as her own. Her biological father does play a role in her life in respect to finances, he is, however, married and has relocated outside of the country. I have asked several persons, but they keep advising me that since her biological father is alive and is contributing financially, he may not want his daughter’s name to be changed. Each day my daughter asks why all three of us can’t have the same last name, but I am not sure how to go about making this possible. I would still keep her biological name, but would add my husband’s name. Please tell me what I can do in this case.

Your request for advice relates to the fact that your daughter, born before your marriage, of a man other than your husband, wishes to have her stepfather’s surname. Your daughter’s repeated questioning of you seems to indicate that you have not explained the true circumstance of her birth and the rights and obligations of her biological father to her and of she to him.

Though you have not stated your daughter’s age, you should explain her paternity to her and tell her some facts about her biological father and the fact that he cares for her but that he had to leave Jamaica and live elsewhere. You should also inform her that despite this, he sends monies to you for her maintenance. It is very important for your daughter to know and believe that she is a very fortunate girl as she has in effect two fathers who love and care for her. In this way, there ought not to be any feelings of abandonment. It is in her best interest to know and believe and this rests on your shoulders.

You wish to know how you can effect the change of your daughter’s surname. You say that you have been advised that her biological father may object to such a change as he is a presence in her life through the financial support he provides for her. Well, it is more than likely that he would object and since you cannot and should not in all conscience do so without informing and discussing the matter with him, you ought to take steps to do so as quickly as possible.

You say that you plan to keep his surname but add your husband’s to her existing and registered names. You must negotiate this with the father. You will have to convince him that such a change is in the child’s best interests and if she is of an age that she can speak for herself, you should have her explain to her biological father herself why she would feel better and be happier to have her stepfather’s surname added to that which she got from him. Remember that the Child Care and Protection Act provides that whenever any decision is been made which would affect a child’s welfare, the child’s opinion must be sought and given due consideration. Your daughter’s own individual and personal opinion must therefore be seriously considered by you both.

The order of the names on your plan would also be a matter of some importance to both sides. I understand that you and your daughter would wish your husband’s surname to be her last name, while her biological father would, in all probability, want his to be the last. You must settle this with him.

Once you have informed and discussed the matter with her biological father and obtained his consent, you can then move to the how the change can be effected.

Since your child was clearly born more than four years ago, the provisions in section 20(1) of the Registration (Births and Deaths) Act do not apply to her as they relate, inter alia, to altering the registered name(s) of a child within 12 months from the registration of that child’s birth. Your child’s registration of birth must have taken place at least four plus years ago.

After the 12-month period in section 20(1) of the said Act has elapsed, there can be no alteration of the registered name(s) of a child unless the Registrar General of Births and Deaths gives his/her authority in writing for it to be done. However, pursuant to the proviso of section 20(3) of the Act, if the child is 10 years old or over, the Registrar General cannot give such an authority unless he/she is satisfied by evidence that there are ‘good and sufficient’ reasons to explain the delay in making the application.

If the Registrar General is satisfied by evidence provided by you and the written authority is granted, then this fact of the grant must be entered by them on the registration form and counterfoil and upon receipt of the certificate of the changed name(s) from the parent or guardian and upon payment of the designated fee, the Registrar General must enter the name in the certificate as having been given to the child on the registration form and counterfoil and then have the index book of births accordingly altered.

If your daughter is 10 years old or over, you may or may not be able to satisfy the Registrar General evidentially why you waited so long and that there was good reason for the delay. You may not wish to take the chance of being denied the written authority.

If this is so, then you ought to consider, after you have her biological father’s consent, (and please do insist that he puts it in writing and signs it before and witnessed by a notary public), that the change of name is effected by way of a deed poll.

I have consistently referred to the fact that you ought to inform, discuss the matter, and obtain the consent of your daughter’s biological father because you should encourage the existence or development of a father and daughter relationship between them and not do anything which may rupture that which exists presently. You should assist your daughter to proudly accept that she has her biological father and also another, the de facto father who is your husband and her step father.

I trust that this clarifies that matter for you and I wish you all the very best and every happiness in the future.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5.