Things I would tell my younger self
THEY say youth is wasted on the young, and indeed if many of us could go back, we’d rethink some of the decisions we made in the prime of our lives when we could have better charted our destinies. What are some of the things you’d change if you could go back? What are some of the things, the advice, the warnings, you’d give or say to your younger self?
Angela H, 56:
I’d advise that sex can wait. Peer pressure is a helluva thing, and so I followed friends and had sex, then I became pregnant as a teen and started a cycle that my children repeated. I wish I had waited for marriage, and the ability to have a real family instead of broken dreams.
Lucille B, 40:
I’d say that people’s opinions don’t really matter. I wish I had paid less attention to what people said about me or insisted I do, and had followed my own mind instead. That’s why mentorship is so important, because once you’re in a place where you’re surrounded by negativity, it’s difficult to get out unless you have strong support.
Nordia B, 34:
That time I dropped out of school? I wish I could go back. I had no one then, except one friend, who told me about the importance of education. Instead I dropped out in third form and ruined my future, because I wanted the life of parties and smoking and boyfriends. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to listen to my friend because now I’m barely functioning and old age is creeping up.
Kimberly, L, 35:
I would tell the young me that there’s no place for nihilism or any real independent streak in this world. There’s a place for faith, and at some point you have to let go and let God. There’s also a time to be independent and feisty, but there’s no place for it in your 30s when you really want a partner, but everyone thinks you’re cold and unreachable, and that you’re too independent to need anyone.
Norma B, 66:
I’d push the importance of family. When I was younger I moved away from everyone because I thought I could do it on my own. As I got older I realised that everyone needs someone. As it turned out, by the time I realised that, everyone had moved on without me.
Henry W, 40:
Love the one who loves you, not the one you love. I’ve had two women who loved me without reason, without inhibition, who loved me totally, and each time I gave that up to chase others who were more appealing to my eyes. But today I wish I had love, rather than just cursory affection.
Martin P, 50:
Travel when you’re young and save marriage and children for later. I grew up in the country and was married by age 20. By the time I went on the farm work programme I already had a few children. When my eyes opened to this whole new world, I regretted making such important life decisions so early. I wish I could have roamed the earth and experienced more, but alas, I had mouths to feed.
Nicara C, 36:
Love doesn’t last forever. There are no soulmates. And you will recover from heartbreak even when you feel you can’t. I wish I wasn’t so innocent as to believe that my first love would have lasted for eternity, or that there’s just one person out there for everyone. I also wish I hadn’t wasted years pining after lost love. I’d tell my younger self that in picking up and moving on, you’ll find many other fish along your journey.
— Petulia Clarke
