On growing up female
CURRENTLY trending on Twitter is the GrowingUpAGirl hashtag, which initially started as a way to air the not-so-nice parts of being female — like periods and bras and puberty. It has since morphed into women sharing thoughts about what it was like growing up as a female in a patriarchal world, as well as celebrating the joys of being a woman. Below women share their unique experiences with growing up female.
Sonya Rowe, 23:
I had to face being told to get over it when I was going through a phase; being told I had to go to church and do household chores because it was a woman’s job, and that I couldn’t expect men to do those things. So to cut it short, I was sort of groomed to be a superwoman — independent, slightly feminist, not wanting any man around. Now it’s no different. I’ll be around men and something spills and they all look at me as if I’m obligated to clean it. And because of how distasteful it is, I will outrightly refuse a man’s chivalry.
Ramona Fraser, 25:
I was told that we females should not have sex at an early age, but it was OK for boys to do it. I couldn’t understand it then, but now I can see the health risks — cervical cancer — and the socio-economic implications it could have had if I had become pregnant. I was also told I could not go outside and play or walk the community like my brothers did. I was also pressured to do well in school while they could relax. While it was discrimination, I can say that it was beneficial as the girls who roamed the streets are no better off now than they were then.
Annette Moodie, 20:
I didn’t grow up around many boys, but one thing for sure is that I couldn’t wear certain clothing like short skirts, because they said it attracted rapists and I was inviting men to call to me. As a woman, being free to choose and knowing that ladylike doesn’t mean being cloaked up is refreshing, but at the same time you have to face being chided because you choose to be who you are. Somewhere society is still getting it wrong that being free is not equal to being loose or tempting.
Toya Fletcher, 30:
Growing up as a girl I was told certain piercings and stylish things were for whores. I remember nose piercing being popular and being forbidden to get one as my mother thought loose women pierced their nostrils. I still want one, but the stigma is sort of still there.
Marie Gordon, 32:
As a girl it was increasingly difficult as I was taught to fear boys and if I spoke with them or saw too much of them I was written off as being ‘prime’ and ‘wanting man’. As a woman I find that people still label women who have a lot of male friends. But the good thing about being a woman is that though people discriminate, the good men were taught to look out for us, so you sort of have that automatic big brother shield.
Sasha Lewin, 21:
The discriminations I’ve faced include being told I didn’t belong in my technical drawing class and being forced to do home economics. Luckily I did some science subjects and got into engineering, but the girls and guys still look at me oddly when I speak about my love for mechanical engineering, designing, and begin getting technical and start to refer to things like structural analysis and kinematics. Some will even say, ‘Go and do public relations or marketing, you’re too nice to love those things’.
Karen Harriott, 38:
Being forced to play with dolls and when I refused them and went after the remote cars, video games and the yard cricket, my parents feared that I’d become a lesbian. Today I still prefer the rougher form of play and I’m happily married with two boys who I enjoy playing football and cricket with. My thing is, anything a man can do I can do it too, and even better. The boys enjoy those games with me more than with their father. If I had listened to the naysayers then, I probably would have stopped playing and wouldn’t be so happy now.
