Can women have platonic male friends?

A few years ago, comedian Chris Rock posited that there was no such thing as platonic friends for women, as they see their male friends as phalluses in glass cases, and will break the cases when the men are needed.

Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell says some women will say they prefer male friends over female friends, and there are occasions where initially innocent, platonic relationships cross the line and enter the sexual realm.

“This occurs when either or both people obliterate the boundary lines and allow their emotions to take over,” he says.

Of note, Powell says intimacy is facilitated by proximity, therefore if two people spend time together, share similar interests and just enjoy being in each other’s company, the likelihood of crossing the line is not far-fetched.

“Bear in mind that these are two human beings with sexual urges that, given the right place and the right time, things can happen if one [or both] is not strong enough to resist the sexual charges that might erupt,” he says.

Powell further cautions that the woman who feels that it is quite OK to undress in front of her platonic “brethren”, and feels that he will behave himself, should think twice.

“Your friend is a man and can be visually stimulated. He may not express it then, but it could well be a fantasy that he may one day want to play out. As far as the woman is concerned, she, too, may well be harbouring sexual thoughts of her “brethren” especially if he possess some of the qualities that she is looking for in a partner,” he says.

In such a situation, Powell says the condition becomes even more complex if both people have significant others.

So when maintaining platonic relationships, Powell says the rule of thumb, therefore, is to establish and maintain the boundary lines and take nothing for granted.

“If one or both of you feel an attraction for the other, back off, and if necessary tek weh yuhself,” he advises.