Marriage problems
MARRIAGE is no bed of roses. In fact some people will tell you that it’s a very difficult road to navigate, though the institution is touted as the ideal aspiration for couples. The first year, some experts say, is the hardest, and after seven years — the seven-year itch — happiness and satisfaction are said to decline. The road bumps may vary in size and the magnitude of the challenges can be difficult, as the couples below share. Here are some of the challenges that they say are plaguing their unions, challenges not many people see from the outside.
Haley:
I live outside of Jamaica mostly, but my husband resides there. For years he cheated on me, lied to me, fathered children outside of our union but I still cared too much about him to leave. I was judged, I mean my family was merciless, but I was like this man’s puppet, maybe I still am. I am always giving the gifts, I always remember the special days and I do everything in the house including paying all the bills. I feel like all I do is give. I am not loved in return. I am never told thank you; most of the times I just feel used.
Andrea:
I am earning less than half his salary, and he took care of our family reasonably well until about a year ago. The only thing this man does now is send the kids to school — he doesn’t buy food, he doesn’t help to pay the utilities and he certainly doesn’t care about the way I look, because he never asks how I do my hair or care for myself. I have grown tired of having to ask my relatives abroad for money or going to work looking worse than everybody. I am frustrated. He never has money but he never spends it in the family. I am thinking of moving on. Maybe that’s what he has always wanted.
Jamie:
I don’t know why he started drinking all of a sudden. He’s a good man but I can’t deal with the rum scent and the nagging he does in his drunken state. I talk to him, but every day he says, ‘Baby, I’m going to stop’, but he continues. When the children see him drunk it just hurts them and I can’t get the full use of him, but he’s not seeing that.
Gem:
Gambling — 8:30, 10:30, 1:30, 5:30, 7:30, and if Cash Pot or any other games playing at any other 30, a him dat. The man just turn one professional gambler and use all the money we had saved for a rainy day and tell me every day to wait until he wins the lotto. Nobody knows half of what I go through. People will say he’s sick, but I think he’s just spiteful.
Kelsey:
I basically got married to someone everybody else knew but me. We dated for two years and he never laid a hand on me, yet less that a year into our relationship he has already done it twice. Of course I am confused and in pain, of course I have thoughts of hurting him back, but even more, of course I want to want to walk away. I won’t deny that I still love him and I wish I could help him. I just wish he would keep his hands to himself.
Keisha:
I was hoping that I could look past his erectile dysfunction, but sometimes I can’t. I am seriously thinking of getting ‘it’ somewhere. I have already cheated mentally, and I am tempted to go all the way. I love him, I really do, but the body wants what the body wants.
— PH
