How to spot a potential abuser
NO relationship is perfect, and yes, there will be disagreements. But how certain are you that your partner would never become abusive?
Clinical Psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell says that abuse, regardless of the type or severity, should not be tolerated in a relationship. She shared with All Woman characteristics that could spell signs of a potential abuser. You may want to consider these before committing yourself to the relationship.
1. The person is possessive
He pretty much thinks that he owns you or is a majority shareholder in your life. He keeps tabs on you all the time, hugs you when your male friends are around, and constantly tries to remind people that you are his date or partner.
2. He tries to isolate you
Possession sometimes develops into a bid by potential abusers to isolate their partners from speaking to, spending time with, or getting involved in any activity that requires them to be out of their range. Some of them will go as far to block access to transportation and access to communication devices.
3. Jealousy becomes unhealthy
When jealously cannot be equated with love but evolves into obsession, accusations, and mind games, this is deemed as unhealthy. Your partner will even get others involved, including asking friends to watch you. He may also sometimes ask for a detailed daily planner, refuse your requests to hang out with friends, and even check the mileage on your vehicle.
4. He threatens to become violent or uses abusive language
He uses language or puts you in a position that suggests that he would become violent. Abusive language is just as harmful as physical abuse. In fact, emotional abuse takes a longer time to recover from than scars and wounds.
5. Explosive behaviour
He is not only aggressive, but moody and severely unpredictable. This is typical among people who batter their partners. One moment he is fine, but in an instant he becomes more aggressive, accusing, and threatening to hurt you.
