Why married men lie
NOT many men who are married wear their wedding rings, so sometimes it’s not easy to know if a man is taken and some men simply do not want to disclose that they are married. Some women also hide the fact that they are married, although to a lesser extent than the men.
But why do people, especially men, purposefully conceal that they are legally attached to someone else?
1. He’s bored and just wants a fling
This one is not rocket science. Being married doesn’t mean a man or woman will not find others attractive. However, it’s respect for his spouse, marriage, in some cases spiritual beliefs, and having control over his sexual urges that will prevent a man from acting on these feelings of attraction. He will not tell a woman he is interested in that he is married, because quite likely she is looking for someone who can commit to her and he knows he cannot.
2. He is a married player
Some women marry men they know will never be faithful to them. They see the signs long before marrying the men but they go ahead anyway. The man also knows that his wife is aware marriage will not tame him. In cases like these, a man will continue to play the field while he’s married because technically his wife ‘agreed’ to it by committing to him despite knowing he won’t change. The other person, on the other hand, might be someone who makes it clear from the outset that she will not accept a relationship with a married man, so he cannot disclose to his love interest that he is married.
3. He’s in an open marriage
Yes, it does happen. Couples agree to allow each other to become involved with other people outside their marriage. Although he and his wife agree to this kind of marriage, the man might conceal his marital status from a woman he is seeking to get involved with if he realises that she’s not the type to settle with being a ‘side chick’.
4. He’s in a business marriage and has a lot to lose
Although many of us want to find our Prince Charming and be whisked off into the sunset, people get married for reasons other than love. There are men who marry for opportunity just like women do. Sometimes both parties understand and agree that the marriage is a business arrangement – one in name only – however, things can change along the way if one person develops romantic feelings which are not reciprocated. A man who enters a business marriage and has no romantic interest in his wife might look outside for that kind of fulfilment. However, depending on the situation, he will not risk his investment by telling the other woman that he is married, worse if the wife has romantic feelings for him that he does not share.
5. He is at a crossroads or buying time to end his marriage
Not every marriage is a happy one. A man who is unhappily married can meet a woman whom he genuinely wants in his life, but he knows the moment he tells her he is married she will walk so he purposefully conceals that he is married. He tries to buy time to either work out his marriage, extricate himself legally, or allow himself the opportunity to feel out the new relationship and determine if it’s something over which he should end his marriage. Although he’s in an unhappy situation at home, this kind of behaviour is actually selfish because the other person is unaware that they are in an emotionally risky situation. They are blindly investing in a relationship that might not go where they are hoping it will go.
Marie Berbick, aka ‘The PR Girl’, is a communications specialist, motivational speaker and founder of the women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Follow her on Twitter @thePR Girl or e-mail marieberbick@gmail.com.
