‘Don’t be bullied into motherhood’

MORE and more women are abandoning traditional gender roles in a bid to pursue educational and career pursuits, and Jamaican-born Dr Donia Scott says society should stop chastising them for this choice

The computational linguist at the University of Sussex in the United Kingdom says she has found the general response to a woman’s pronouncements to remain childless to be unconscionable, and implored people with this ‘backward mentality’ to desist from labelling women as selfish, and to stop bullying women into motherhood.

Dr Scott was addressing this year’s Women’s Leadership Initiative International Women’s Day conference last Monday at the Jamaica Pegasus Hotel in New Kingston, held under the global theme ‘Pledge for Parity: Speak it into being’.

She pointed out that it is unfair for women to have to choose between their careers and a family, and society should stop negatively labelling women who, in the end, choose their careers.

“Increasingly, across the globe we are seeing an increase in the number of women who are choosing not to become mothers. For example, in the United States only 44 per cent of women in academia are married with children, and it is disturbing to think that women are judged because of this,” Dr Scott said.

“Women are made to feel selfish because we were told that our role is to have children, but we need to stop looking at our women that way.”

Using her own decision as an example, she said that people should be at that stage of maturity where a woman, or her along with her partner, should be able to make a decision to remain childless having considered her career, finances, and support system.

“My husband and I met when we were in graduate school and after that we started our careers. There came a time when we had to have the discussion: were we going to have our careers or were we going to have children?” Dr Scott shared.

She said the decision was easy considering the frequent flier nature of their jobs as research scientists, coupled with a lack of familial support since the couple had migrated.

She said she understands the torture that women who decide against motherhood endure as she, too, had to endure many uncomfortable conversations. But even considering these she believes that she made the best decision.

“Choosing not to have children is not a decision that I regret and I would do it again if I was given the opportunity to live my life again,” Dr Scott said.

But she also had high praises for the women who have been able to create a balance between motherhood and creating waves in their careers.

“I know a lot of women who have both [their careers and their children] and I applaud them. And if you can and you want to then go ahead,” Dr Scott encouraged.

“But there are other women among us who resent their decision to have children because they feel they were forced into the decision. But remember to be firm in your decision because you will live with your decision every day. Don’t do it because other mothers expect it, your parents expect it, or your friends expect it. Do it only because you want to.”