First-time regrets

“WRONG boy, wrong place, wrong time,” are some of the things women say about their first sexual encounters.

Apart from regretting the experience, many women will go on to live with built-up guilt and constantly blame themselves for not waiting, or become remorseful whenever they enter a new relationship with someone they deem more worthy of the honour.

Below women tell All Woman their stories of regret about giving up their virginity too soon, or to the wrong person.

Belinda:

When I became sexually active I was fairly young, unmarried and not a Christian. Shortly after, I became a Christian and decided to walk upright. When I got married my husband knew I was experienced, but somehow I still felt guilty. I see virginity as God’s precious gift to us, a gift to be opened when you are married. I felt bad and regretted opening up myself emotionally to someone who didn’t value me as much as my husband does.

Mellissa:

I was 25 years old and the only virgin in my office. No one knew. Whenever my friends would talk about things, I would just give my two cents too. Then I got involved with someone and because I was so anxious, without a second thought I gave in, and that was it. After about three months it ended. He was in it for the fun. My loss in so many ways.

Ramona:

He turned out to be a pig and a misogynist. I never experienced so much disrespect and belittlement from any one man. His true colours showed after we had sex, and trust me, if I could beat myself I would have. I was 21 at the time.

Amy:

He used his laptop to record us and showed it to his friends. We were about 16 at the time and I felt he could have been more mature. This caused me much humiliation at such a young age.

Sharon:

We were in college and he had invited me to his family dinner one weekend. I went, we ended up sleeping together, and the next day he happened to introduce me as a friend to his ex-girlfriend who lived a stone’s throw away from his house. Also, his mother kept referring to me by the girl’s name.

Kelly:

At age 17 I got involved with an older man. He was 25 then. He gave me the whole nice treatment or buttering up at first. We would go out and he never once approached me in a sexual way and I honestly thought he cared. Later on I realised it was only a ploy to get in my good graces: when the deed was done, the chivalry stopped. A few weeks later his friend called and said my boyfriend had passed me on to him, and asked if I wanted to chill.