Nikeish Roberts’ triumph over breast cancer

NIKEISH Roberts, 36, has endured a lot, but she has not allowed herself to become a product of her environment or experiences.

Roberts was diagnosed with medullary carcinoma of the breast — a rare form of breast cancer — at age 30, and tells

All Woman that though not the news anyone was prepared to hear, she quickly made up her mind to fight the disease.

“For years looking back I had hoarseness and I kept going to the doctor for it and realised I had swelling of the lymph nodes. I kept going and was treated for infections and after I took the medication the symptoms would come back,” she said. “So the doctor told me to do research on endometriosis and while researching endo I was looking at symptoms and realised probably it was not that, so I started looking at polycystic ovaries and I decided to finally look at breast cancer and realised most of the symptoms were the early stages of breast cancer.”

Subsequently, Roberts said she decided that she was going to do her breast self-examination, which she had previously ignored, and that’s when she discovered a lump.

She said it was at this point that she told her brother, a medical doctor, about her discovery, and he agreed to take a look at it while reassuring her that the lump didn’t mean she had cancer. But she was not moved.

“From then I convinced myself I had it. I had constant headaches and just convinced myself I was living with it without being diagnosed. He sent me to do an ultrasound then I was sent to do a needle-guided biopsy. The doctor said it was not cancer. He doubted it. It was at this point that I said maybe it’s not, but I didn’t let my guard down,” she said.

But about a month after the needle-guided biopsy, Roberts said she was at school when her brother called and said she needed to come home for a family meeting.

“I asked what it was and he said when I got home we would discuss it. I said to myself, but he can’t just call me out of school to have a family meeting, and not remembering the fact that I had done the biopsy, I was thinking something was wrong with my youngest brother. Then it hit me and I calmed down. He had got back the results and it was cancer. I was calm and went straight into acceptance mode,” she said.

Roberts said when her brother picked her up he withheld the information from her until she got home and he told the family. The next step was treatment and she was sent to the University Hospital of the West Indies where she did chemotherapy and surgery to remove the breast.

“I had the option of removing the area or doing a radical mastectomy and I chose to do the radical mastectomy with immediate reconstructive surgery. It was a life-changing situation, and as hard as it was it would be even more difficult to get up, look at myself and know that I had no breast. Even though I removed it, somewhat I never came out breastless. It helped with coping as physically there were changes but it was minimal,” she said.

But though she remained positive, she said the effects of chemotherapy were not easy to deal with.

“I told myself I wasn’t going to look sick, let anyone pity me or feel sorry for me. I was still in college, going to Northern Caribbean University, doing my degree in social work, and I was surviving on three hours of sleep. The most I got would be five hours. I would just come home, watch TV, go to school, and continue that routine. Mentally I was prepared to do anything as I saw it as a solution and I said I was going to complete school. So the night before surgery I sat studying,” she said.

She added: “Radiation and chemo made me get three or four shades darker. People in the class would make fun of me. At times I was in my class doing presentations and heard the comments. To them I didn’t come across as sick though I never hid my illness, and people would sit and laugh at my complexion or at the fact that I had no eyebrows. My self-esteem was really damaged. I even thought of bleaching my skin, but one day I eventually took off the wig and wore my bald head and during that time I realised I was black and beautiful,” Roberts said.

Now, six years since her diagnosis and treatment, Roberts said she has gained a greater appreciation for life and realised that the things she worried about were insignificant.

“I don’t sweat small stuff any more. I can remember when the chemo was finished I looked back and I started crying because I realised I had been through a lot — the nausea, vomiting, sleepless nights, I even developed severe panic attacks. But my faith in God kept me grounded,” she said.

She said now she takes a holistic approach to life and researches everything before she eats it in order to find the nutritional content. Also a trained social worker and instructor in the HEART Trust/NTA’s Unattached Youth Programme, Roberts uses her experiences to motivate the youth she comes in contact with on a daily basis.

“I’m here to make a difference and I’m 100 per cent sure this cancer will not kill me. If it comes a million times I’m willing to fight a million times,” she said.