Don’t go crazy with a newborn’s demanding schedule
A new baby is demanding. Between the list of things to get done for them and the time that you spend fulfilling their needs, there seems to be absolutely no time at all to get anything done for yourself or for anyone else. This can be a frustrating time, especially for first-time mothers, who often confess to feeling overwhelmed to the point of insanity. But clinical psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell says while the baby’s demands seem to be endless, you can cope without reaching the point of wanting to tear out your hair.
A new baby is demanding. Between the list of things to get done for them and the time that you spend fulfilling their needs, there seems to be absolutely no time at all to get anything done for yourself or for anyone else. This can be a frustrating time, especially for first-time mothers, who often confess to feeling overwhelmed to the point of insanity. But clinical psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell says while the baby’s demands seem to be endless, you can cope without reaching the point of wanting to tear out your hair.
“Taking care of a newborn can be quite challenging. The first three months can prove even more so. The first step to ensuring that you don’t give in to the idea of going crazy is to develop a schedule, a detailed list along with times, similar to a daily planner,” Dr Bell advised.
She said in the ideal situation both parents are available, and they should organise the schedule so that they do not become overwhelmed. This should include a night schedule where wake time rotates so that each parent can get some rest.
But not all situations are ideal. And so in cases where there is only a single caregiver, he or she may need to rely on others to reduce the stress of caring for a baby alone.
“If there are persons around you who are supportive and willing to help, such as family members or close friends, let them. Introduce them to the idea of the schedule and if they are okay with it, schedule activities around the times most available to them. This will show them that you respect and appreciate their time and effort,” Dr Bell advised.
She noted that these situations, especially since your support people may not be able to stay overnight, should result in you resting during the day while they are around so you can manage the night shift.
Other strategies which Dr Bell said should help include:
• Sleeping both during the days and at night when the baby is asleep.
• If there is no supporting family, friend or spouse, the mother could consider hiring a caregiver that could help her to get most of the other chores done so that she can spend quality time with the baby.
• It’s great that you want to be with the baby, but an important part of coping with a new baby is taking some to relax, if even for a few hours each week.
• She also encouraged mothers not to try to compete or be a supermom, because pushing yourself beyond your limit can make you sick, and this is not healthy for you or the baby. Things will get done, it may take a little longer with the newborn, but that’s okay.
• When you become overwhelmed, do something therapeutic that you like — such as listening to soothing music or writing. Do whatever will give you some comfort.
