Parents tell: things no one tells you about having kids
WHEN you become a parent, there is truly no guarantee that the guidelines handed down by family and friends will factor into your planning, as each baby is a unique being. The truth is, there is limited value to the hints in a baby’s manual, because you’ll never really know until you become the guardian to a prince or princess.
So while family members may tell you that parenting is not always sugar, spice and all that’s nice, there are other things that they don’t share, whether they are too traumatised to tell you, or because words can never truly convey feelings.
We asked a few parents to share experiences they’ve had that no one told them about, and this is what they said:
Camille, mother of one:
Nobody told me that sometimes my child could bring me to a place where all the love, compassion and desire to protect and be selfless just leave me, and I just become bitter and angry. This is the naked truth.
Gem, mother of three:
Well, I would say nobody told me that I would never truly be alone again. This little girl is just everywhere I go. I thought doors in my house were there for privacy, but this child really never knows any boundaries — bathroom, snack time, reading, washing, whatever I am doing — you’d better know that a little person will appear seconds behind me.
Morgan, mother of two, plus one on the way:
I was never told that you could love some little person more than yourself. That I, of all people, the lazy bug of the family, would feel happy cleaning up after others, that I would endure physical abuse, blows to my face, and her biting my breasts — and not want to react. There are many things people can’t really tell you, you just have to find out for yourself because it’s more of an experience than it is anything else.
Nadine, mother of one:
Well, my life is completely centred on my child. She has a more active social life than I do. In fact, with her extracurricular activities and her movies and ice cream dates, parties and competitions, I really do not have the time or energy to entertain friends. I think the only people I have time to talk to outside of work are really the parents of her friends, and those conversations are always about her activities. I feel like her maid, secretary, chauffeur, teacher, lawyer — you name it. I just hope she realises that she has already totted up a sky-high bill at 12.
Jacko, father of two:
Well, I would say nobody told me that I could be so protective of someone. I never felt so protective of myself, my wife or my mother before this little girl was born. It’s almost like a superpower to me because I didn’t know that I had it before. I would also say nobody told me that your child’s broken heart will feel like your own, or that you will have to be her personal alarm clock, and that you become irrational when she hurts, even when it’s just another child involved.
Sharon, mother of one:
Nobody told me that for a large part of my life, until he grows out of the cartoon character stage, I would be constantly dancing to silly jingles, dressing up to please him, that I would cry for no reason out of sheer joy that I have a mini-me, that although I try to bring him up in the best way I can, I worry about the kind of man he will become, because even cute boys that care about sick people and children could become monsters. And that I will always feel a need to be close to him even when I just want to be alone. Parenting has put me in a complex place, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
James, father of three:
Your child will become your obsession. How you are viewed by them is more important to you than what the world thinks about you. And when you are a girls’ man you will know that this transformation doesn’t happen easily. I will be versed in baby language and it’s cute, and what I think I love most is the pride that comes with knowing my children are doing well. Nobody can tell you or explain that, you just have to feel it for yourself to know how wonderful it is.
