A child with two fathers

Dear Mrs Macaulay,

I was with a young lady for four years but throughout the relationship there was another guy present who she said was a family friend. I later found out that she was actually in a relationship with him while we were together. She had a son during the relationship and I registered him in my name. I was supporting the child up until he was three years old — even after we broke up.

The child came to see me when he was three and told me that the other man was his daddy. The mother then prevented me from having access, though over the years she would pop up now and then and send a few pictures. But she would never allow me to see him or be a part of his life. So I stopped supporting him.

The child is now 12 and she has allowed me to see him on two occasions. When I ask her if he knows I’m his father, she said yes, but I should try not to push anything on him. I found out that the child has the other man listed as his father on his school records, and even uses the guy’s name even though my name is on the birth certificate. The other man has no clue I exist, and has been supporting the child.

When I found out this last bit of information she blocked me from seeing the child again, even though she is still trying to get me to support him.How do I proceed legally?

When I found out this last bit of information she blocked me from seeing the child again, even though she is still trying to get me to support him.

How do I proceed legally?

Your situation is extremely sad but it is even more so for the child. This child unfortunately has a mother who I am sure loves her son, but who has no idea of true and proper parenting, nor does she seem to be particularly interested in the concept of acting in the best interests of her child. The poor child must be in a state of constant confusion about your identity and role in his life.

I am concerned about the fact that you are the registered father and yet your son’s school has other information. Surely his mother would have had to produce his birth certificate to the school for their records? If so, how could they have entered a man other than his registered father on their records? Did you ever try to find out the reason from the school? As the registered father you have the right to do so.

The run-around from the mother is neither fair to the child nor to you. In fact, it is quite cruel, manipulative and dishonest. Anyway, you have now clearly decided to do what you should have done years ago.

You must go to the Family Court in your parish and make an application for (1) a declaration of paternity; (2) joint custody of the child; (3) access to the child for fixed periods of time.

The application for a declaration of paternity would cause the court to order that a DNA test be done. You must take a certified copy of your child’s birth certificate with you to the court and tell the clerk everything that you have stated in your letter to me, and anything that you left out. In other words, you must be clear why you, as the registered father, are applying for a declaration of paternity. A DNA test must clearly be done in the circumstances you have related, as it is a factual and legal necessity for the real paternity of the child to be known. The continuing situation could cause you or your estate after your death to be found legally obligated to provide for the child despite the mother’s failure to treat with you as such, save for her receiving and wanting support from you for the child.

If the test shows the other man as the father, the birth certificate will be so amended and you will be out of the picture legally and factually as the child’s father. The emotional repercussions should be handled with the aid of a counsellor. You can ask the court, if this is the result, to let you have counselling with one of the court’s counsellors. This service is free of charge.

If the result of the test shows that you are indeed the father, then you would be entitled to an order of joint custody so that you can have equal rights with the mother to make all important decisions for the development and welfare of the child, and you would also have the right of access to him — not only to spend a few hours now and then with him, but also residential access if you can manage this. The court would then also fix the monetary contribution that you should provide for his maintenance.

Please proceed with the applications I have suggested as quickly as you can. This matter must be settled as quickly as possible before the child gets any older.

Good luck.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public, and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5. All responses are published. We cannot provide personal responses.DISCLAIMER:The contents of this article are for informational purposes only and must not be relied upon as an alternative to legal advice from your own attorney.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public, and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5. All responses are published. We cannot provide personal responses.

DISCLAIMER:

The contents of this article are for informational purposes only and must not be relied upon as an alternative to legal advice from your own attorney.