Cliques, crews and little people posses
SOME of us are all too familiar with what it feels like to be deliberately left out of groups at school, or how depressing it can be to want to make a friend outside of your immediate group of friends but you’re prohibited because the leader says you aren’t allowed.
And while this does not affect all children, clinical psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell says that some children may be significantly and negatively impacted by this.
“Cliques are groups or friendship circles that are formed by one or two people who usually decide who is allowed to join or who members can be friends with. They are usually formed during the teenage years, but may start much earlier for some children,” Dr Bell explained.
She pointed out that while children would much prefer to be included, even children in the group can end up feeling depressed since so many rules guide their conduct and engagements.
As for children who are victimised by members of these groups, Dr Bell said that parents can help their children regain their self-esteem which so many lose because they are made to feel unworthy, ugly and unintelligent, even though the opposite is usually the case.
“Parents should help their children to be self-assured. This is important because we see too many teens resorting to hurting themselves because they don’t meet the ‘standards’ of these groups. This can be achieved by teaching children to be self-sufficient, identify their strengths, develop those strengths, work on building a level of confidence and individualism to such a level that no amount of unkind behaviour shown to them by their peers will easily crush them,” Dr Bell advised.
She said that you should encourage your child to seek out friends who are kind, humble, impartial and who display sympathy to others.
In addition, she says that similar behaviour must be displayed in the home so that the child may be naturally attracted to warm, kind people. Parents should also encourage their children to avoid those cliques whose members display inappropriate behaviour.
As long as parents do this, their children will not be drawn to unsavoury cliques. This has proven to be an effective tactic for some students to steer clear of these deviant groups. Cliques, crews
