Values to teach your child this year

IT’S a new year, and people are usually brimming with positivity because they hope to right the wrongs of the previous year and prepare themselves to take advantage of 12 new months. As a parent, you may also want to make these 12 months work by imparting valuable lessons that will help your children become better people who are able to navigate the murky trajectory of life.

Below, Clinical Psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell shares some of the values that you may want to teach your children and help them to incorporate into their daily lives each month this year.

JANUARY — FORGIVENESS

Children, like adults, can hold grudges and can be angry at people who hurt their feelings — like not sharing at playtime. Instead of allowing this to make them bitter, teach your children the value of forgiveness as a way to stay mentally and emotionally well. January is the perfect time for this lesson, because you will be prepared to let go of negative energy and things that made you sad throughout the last year.

FEBRUARY — PATIENCE

Patience is one virtue that every child should be taught. You can achieve this by creating situations where the lessons can be taught, such as using stories with lessons that the child will find valuable.

MARCH — SOCIAL INTEREST

Encourage your child to appreciate and to take part in social interests. This lesson is easily taught when it starts from inside the home. Social interest encapsulates performing acts of kindness, and this can be done by saying or doing something nice for someone in your immediate family. Parents can improve on this by extending a helping hand personally or through volunteering to help vulnerable people. Over time you will realise that this will become a part of your child’s personality.

APRIL ­— RESILIENCE

In this mean, cold world, it is easy to feel inadequate, especially when you don’t have it all together, and a bunch of your peers are deliberately putting you down to destroy your self-worth. This is exactly what you need to protect your children against. Help them to know that they have potential, always encourage them, be kind in your words to them, inspire confidence, self-love and respect, and you should produce children who are ready to work through challenges and bounce back.

MAY — HARD WORK

Research shows that children who undertake chores are usually successful. We see this often if we teach our children to work hard when they are young, as they will develop a very good work ethic. So give them chores, teach them the importance of going above and beyond at school – academically or with extracurricular activities – and of course with homework. For older children, summer work programmes and volunteering should be par for the course.

JUNE — COMPASSION

A compassionate child is one who is empathetic, kind, and who has a sense of responsibility towards other people. By the actions in your home towards each other, compassion should already be a part of the child’s personality. However, this not always the case, and you will have to help your child to understand the importance of being kind to others. You can also achieve this by taking the child to a place where he/she gets an opportunity to be compassionate, for example, a children’s home or animal shelter.

JULY — GRATITUDE

Gratitude is being able to understand that someone was kind to you and showing appreciation for this. Teach your child that no matter how small a gesture, they should appreciate the person’s effort. You can also have the child write down things they are grateful for each day, and based on the list they should thank all those involved in making these things happen.

AUGUST — LOVE

Children will show love as long as it is shown to them. You can show people you love them by saying it, writing a little note, or by being affectionate. Making or buying little gifts for your child is another tangible way of telling them you love them.

SEPTEMBER — HUMILITY

Humility, though some people stay away from it because it means putting yourself on the back burner for a while, is a very important quality to have. It means being respectful of others, to apologise when you have wronged others, to be gracious in victory, to serve others in the home and school and community, and to be modest.

OCTOBER — EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Children are impressionable beings, and some people will relish every opportunity to manipulate their emotions. Help your children to regulate their emotions, and teach them how to avoid letting their emotions be controlled by manipulative people.

NOVEMBER — WISDOM

While it is true that wisdom comes with age, imparting your own life formulas to help your children can equip them to deal with matters way beyond their years. Wisdom includes the ability to be good problem solvers, to identify the problem, look for possible solutions, weigh the solutions, select the best ones, and apply them.

DECEMBER — HONESTY

You should always speak the truth, no matter the consequences. Lying can cause great damage to relationships, and children need to learn this.

Dr Bell said two bonus values that you can sneak in this year are HOPE, which encourages children to set goals and work towards them, and LOYALTY, which is being true to your word and to people who support you. This way you will develop trust with people and they will take you at your word.