Recovering from a one-time hook-up
Periods like Christmas and the recently celebrated Valentine’s Day can bring a cloud of loneliness over some people, especially if they see family and friends in loving relationships. This loneliness can push some people into the arms of whoever is available – a very bad idea, according to experts, and one that often comes with much regret.
So were you involved in one of these scenarios this past February 14? Dr Sidney McGill, a sex therapist and relationship expert, gives his opinion on how to properly deal with these regrets.
1. Be compassionate to yourself. Do not hate yourself for what happened.
2. Look back at what you did. Would you have normally gotten intimate with that person? Is it someone you were with before? Did you have unsafe sex? If yes, you should have taken the necessary precautions to protect yourself.
3. Do not isolate yourself from your friends and family.
4. Absolutely no self-pity. You cannot afford to beat down on yourself.
5. Get involved in group activities. It will take your mind off the mishap, and you may get a chance to meet someone who you can start a relationship with.
6. Do not judge yourself. Calling yourself loose and other derogatory terms will only make you feel worse.
7. If you realise that it is taking a great emotional toll on you, seek professional help.
8. Talk about it with some friends you trust.
9. Cut all ties with the person. There is no need for a constant reminder of something you regret, especially if you are not interested in pursuing a serious relationship.
10. Do not bottle up all your feelings. It is alright to cry.
11. Keep your mind on the future; do not dwell on the past.
12. Will yourself to let go and move on to better things.
13. Try to find other interests. A new relationship, for example, will distract you from how you feel. Be a good judge of character when you are doing this. Take time to get to know the person before any sexual encounter. There is more to a relationship than just sex.
