2 workplace love stories

WORKPLACE romances are often thought of as taboo, and are typically frowned upon or simply discouraged by many organisations. But some still flourish across the cubicles, in the lunchrooms, or in e-mails, and they’ll blossom, as is the case with several couples who work with the JMMB Group.

Although the company does not encourage workplace romance per se, it has no established policy in place to discourage it, as management recognises that the family-like atmosphere that it seeks to create will allow for long-lasting relationships of all types to be formed. Of course, the company underscores that couples would still be required to operate within the context of regulatory guidelines where applicable, and maintain the core values of the company — transparency, equality, integrity and openness when executing their duties.

Two of the JMMB couples who have trod this path of starting office relationships that flourished into marriage shared with All Woman some insight into how to mix business with pleasure, without compromising their professional lives.

Paul and Teverly Gray, who have been married for 14 years, said their relationship began when they worked closely with each other on a project many years ago. Paul admits that as his interest in Teverly grew, he decided to take a leap of faith and pursue a relationship with her, although at the time she worked with the Montego Bay branch and he worked at the JMMB head office in Kingston as a trader. After numerous trips to Montego Bay, Paul said they realised that there was sufficient chemistry, mutual values and beliefs, and so they decided to take their relationship a step further, making a long-term commitment.

Michelle and Andrew O’Connor, who recently wed, met while working at JMMB’s client care centre in 2007. Andrew admits that although she sparked his interest from day one, it was not until four years later, when the two started working in separate departments, that she considered dating him. Transitioning from being good friends to dating came with little hesitation, as the family-like environment fostered at JMMB did not hinder the natural progression of the relationship.

Giving deeper insight, the Grays and O’Connors shared how they have made their workplace relationships a success, thereby avoiding the pitfalls that may be associated with office relationships:

1. Determine the best time to share your relationship status with co-workers

Paul noted that it is a good idea to reserve details of your relationship status in the workplace, even among friends, until there is a clear commitment to each other. This helps to preserve each other’s reputation and feelings, especially where relationships are short-lived.

“I waited for months before announcing details to anyone, although people may have suspected an interest,” he said in giving details about the genesis of his office relationship.

2. Build a friendship first

The two couples admit that being friends first allowed them to seamlessly transition to an intimate relationship. Additionally, even as they spent more time interacting because of their relationship at work and outside, their friendship allowed them to continue to enjoy each other’s company without feeling stifled. “We are genuinely each other’s best friends and so we find it natural to spend time together and just talk about mundane or serious matters,” Teverly divulged.

3. Keep personal life and professional life separate

Now a senior executive at JMMB, Paul admitted that over the years, as he continued to work with Teverly on other projects, he maintained a professional posture while at work. The O’Connors echoed a similar sentiment.

“It is important to respect each other’s space and set boundaries while exercising (and not expecting) any preferential treatment because of the personal relationship you share with your spouse,” Michelle said.

Teverly shared that she is deliberate in balancing her role as spouse and team member, ensuring that she draws a line between exercising the confidence of a spouse and the respect of a team member.

Paul further encouraged couples to keep details of their relationship private and, as best as possible, avoid discussing conflicts and other personal matters with team members, as this will create grey areas on the professional environment you are seeking to maintain.

Facilitating workplace relationships

While the downside of working together is often touted, Andrew and Michelle shared that being teammates also offers upsides — one such is greater understanding of the demands of the working environment. Teverly added that working for the same company also helps in being a stronger support system for your spouse, whereby you can brainstorm solutions and test ideas with your spouse, as there is a solid understanding of the organisation’s culture and environment.

Michelle admitted that some of the skills and training programmes that she has been exposed to at JMMB have helped her in her holistic development and she has transferred these skills to her relationship. Citing the example of leadership development and understanding personality traits, she states these have helped her to be more effective in communication in her relationship.