How shallow is your love?
INSTAGRAMMER Jenna Kutcher was the subject of cyberbullying recently, when she received a question in her inbox from someone asking her how she, of all people, managed to land a guy as good looking as her husband. Kutcher, admittedly taken aback, was forced to post a body positive image of herself and her hubby on the beach, and in a passionate caption, explained why size shouldn’t matter when it comes to love. Her husband also followed suit with a lengthy post explaining that marriage should be about love, acceptance and cherishing one another no matter what.
Kutcher’s experience is not unique — couples who are not good physical matches by society’s standards are criticised for being ‘mixed-weight’, with women who fall on the larger side being targets 10 times more often than their male counterparts. So a fit man who is in love with a woman who is thick, plump, chubby or fat, for example, is usually criticised on social media, and when out together these couples may get awkward looks or questions such as “what do you see in her”? And then they’re forced to defend their choices of love.
Is a partner’s weight a determining factor when looking at prospects? What about men whose spouses gained weight over time, has this affected the relationship in any way? The men below, all fitness buffs, spill.
Andre L:
If love is categorised by height or depth, it’s not love at all. I considered myself a shallow fellow until I met my wife. Funny enough, it was her thighs and breasts that got my attention, so like a true Jamaican man I dove in and was successful. The thing is, though, we were friends first and it’s her sense of humour and humility combined with her physique that caused my love for her to grow. A decade has passed and her sense of humour and humility have allowed her physique to become less of a factor. She is still beautiful inside out but the inside attributes matter much more.
Devon J:
Outward appearances are not the only factor or the end factor in selecting a partner. If I met her slim and she got fat there are two approaches — genetics, where you can’t do anything about it, but if it’s controllable then she has to do something.
Wayne A:
My preference was slim and trim and she is still slim and trim and I am happy. If that changed I don’t know what I would do.
Trevardo G:
I do like thick women — thick as in not too fat or not too slim. But additional weight over time will not be a problem as it can go with a little work. The difference with me is if she is too skinny, like skin and bones, she would have to gain a little flesh.
Jeremy W:
As a man I love a woman who is thick. But as a fitness professional, as a means of reducing one’s risk of getting lifestyle-related diseases, my woman’s body fat percentage has to be within a tolerable range. My woman, if she happens to be above that range, or happens to trend upwards above that range because of various life circumstances, can expect that I will be there to help her work on it to get back within a healthy, thick range.
Marlon G:
A woman’s weight wouldn’t affect my decision as the type of person I am, from I am comfortable with the person, no one can sway me. But I admire fit women though.
Barrington A:
I always wanted a slim wife and I got a slim wife and was really happy. After our three children were born, she didn’t lose the baby weight the third time around. I am still happy.
