The most cruel rejection

NO one wants to be rejected, but the truth is that for many of us, someone will give us the cold shoulder at least once in our lifetime.

For some people, the worst forms of rejection are the ones associated with close ties — a love interest or a relationship they thought could be reconciled.

Often these rejections are followed by guilt, shame, anger, self-hate, self-pity, and tears. Many people end up internalising these emotions and may shy away from similar interactions with others for fear of being rejected once more. But there are others who quickly bounce back, and openly share their experiences to help others overcome.

Below readers tell All Woman the worst, meanest and cruellest form of rejection they have experienced and how they got over it.

Tania E, communication officer:

Silence is the worst form of rejection. You don’t know what happened and it’s almost as if you never existed. They basically murdered you figuratively. I got that from someone I was in a relationship with. When he broke it off he refused to just grant me the peace of mind to say what was the reason. How I got over feeling like a nobody was to immerse myself in things I liked and get distracted so my mind wouldn’t dwell on it.

Ricardo H, entrepreneur:

Having someone who knew my ability, yet stopped me. I realised the person was a destiny blocker. I couldn’t understand why they encouraged me, but then turned around and rejected me when I needed their help. Getting over it took prayer and, funny enough, helping that same person when they were down.

Roxanne L, chemical engineer:

The worst rejection I received came in the form of ghosting and silence. I met this guy on a training course and we made contact over social media, then exchanged numbers. For a couple weeks we talked and agreed that when time was on our side we would link up and hang out to facilitate face-to-face conversation. We continued to talk and it became a regular occurrence to check up on each other. Then one day in the middle of our conversation he just hung up and never called back, stopped texting, and has disappeared from social media. And we have never crossed paths since, though my work has brought me to his workplace countless times. I really never got over it and it puzzles me as to whether I did or said something that was a turn-off why he just stopped talking to me.

Renee C, student:

I liked a guy who was about seven years older than I was and at first he was pleasant and courteous, and we would communicate via texts and calls. Well, when he started acting shady, I did my own digging and found out he had dated two of my colleagues. As we weren’t friends, I never made an issue out of it. However, I asked why he had become so distant and his response was always that work had him busy. When that got stale he said his phone fell in water and as a result he had no way of communicating. He made up for it through Facebook Messenger, but eventually he stopped using that too and began coming online at hours I would be asleep. I tried reaching out but his phone would go straight to voicemail. The funny thing is I had a good relationship with his former supervisor who knew I liked him. That supervisor gave me another number. I called from a private number and he answered and that’s when it truly hit home that he just never wanted to get to know me at all or continue our friendship. I got over it by focusing on things that truly mattered in the moment, like meeting deadlines, and I spent a lot of time with friends.

Khadeen B, bartender:

My relationship with my father is the greatest and worst form of rejection I have ever experienced. I never had a relationship with him. He came around slightly when I was in high school and then I lived with him for a while, but he still showed favour to his other children and I still feel some type of way.

Anthoniel M, surveyor:

I was introduced to an older guy by a mutual friend who thought we were similar and my level of maturity was just enough for him to manage. The conversations were few and far between, but I was interested in knowing him more as he was someone focused, was achieving his goals, and he was not in the hype or social media and keeping up appearances type of life. It was a breath of fresh air to see someone who was also young, though older than me, not into posting and snapping and tweeting about intimate details of their life. As a result I became interested and made an effort to talk to him. Then one day he told me I should not text his phone again and he was not up for being [with] me, [because] he was just being courteous to our mutual friend.

Keith L, 27:

It’s the kind of rejection I get from my bipolar wife almost every week, like clockwork. One day she will be fine and we’ll be happy, and the next day she will flip, and say the meanest, most cruel things about me, my looks, my sexual prowess and how I act as a husband, with no provocation at all. It’s extremely demoralising to have to experience this, but I love her.