Embarrassing family moments

WITHOUT a doubt, there’s an oddball in every family — that weird uncle or cousin or even parent whose words or actions have caused some amount of pain. And if you have the kind of luck with family like Meagan Markle, wife to Prince Harry and Duchess of Sussex does, as she continues to be dragged down by her father’s kin, you’ll never survive the embarrassment.

All Woman asked readers to share their own stories of pain and embarrassment suffered at the hands of tactless family members, and they share experiences below.

Teyanna, 32, hairdresser:

When I was 22 and had my first serious boyfriend, after dating for a year I decided to introduce him to my mother, who lives in the country. We drove down and the first thing she said when she saw him was, “Eh, eh, is this ugly bwoy yuh deh wid a town? Town nuh have no better-looking man?” Then she proceeded to look him up and down and then flounced away. We couldn’t get away from there fast enough, and I spent a great deal of time trying to convince him to pay no attention to her, as she was sick in the head.

Mickayla, 27, teacher:

About a year and a half ago, my fiancé, who is enlisted in the army, was in military training. After about four months of training, we (family) could finally spend a day with him, as they were having what they refer to as “family day”. It so happened that he had two other close friends in training who attended, and so the families came together and decided to use a single bus to transport us all. After what was a really great day, we were on our way home through some hilly terrain when my father-in-law to law to be, in a state of panic, demanded that the driver stop. He shouted, “No man, mi cyaa hold this no longer, mi ago do it on myself.” Of course, the entire bus erupted in laughter and by now his wife and I were red with embarrassment. And if that was not enough, he got off the bus and proceeded to stoop at the door to handle his business, much to the opposition of the frantic driver. When he returned after doing it on someone’s property the only thing he was concerned with was topping up his belly again. To this day I dread meeting up with my fiancé’s pals out of fear they will bring it up.

Deana, 36, nurse:

I remember about two years or so ago, my son, who still remains very blunt, was about nine at the time and forgot to peek through the window before opening the front door. When he realised what he did he shouted, “Mommy, it’s these annoying Jehovah’s Witness people again. I am telling them you are busy.” I could not move when I heard it. I couldn’t scold him either but my neighbour, who was of the faith and with whom I’d had a very good relationship, just slowly ‘dried up’ on us. It may not have been a huge deal that she did, but I despised the tension.

Michael, 46, truck driver:

I have five children and three of them — two girls and a boy — are all out of school. The girls have four and three children each, and none can help themselves. They call and harass all my family members, including me, for money to take care of their children, and they will beg just about any other stranger who will hear them out. They have no shame at all because the people see them with the same careless men who obviously only know how to bring these innocent children into the world to suffer. Every day my heart bleeds because as soon as they get a little money, they want big hairstyle and nails. They are an embarrassment.

Nathalia, 32, bank teller:

I was about 16 or 17 when my friends came over, including my boyfriend. I was living with my grandmother at the time because my parents reside in England. We were in the middle of doing our cookout and stuff when my grandmother called me, quite loudly, to discuss my underwear that I didn’t get a chance to hang on the line, and which I intended to do the following day. And if that was not enough, she came to nuff up herself with her cigarette and farting in the middle of our cookout and lyming. Needless to say, my friends were disgusted and my boyfriend was turned off by the whole underwear scenario. I love her, but she is so unrefined and she still doesn’t get that there is a time and a place for everything.

Tashana, 24, customer service representative:

My cousin took it as his job to set me up with wealthy men at his workplace who were interested in me. The most hurtful part is that he was taking money from the men in exchange for my number, and to set us up, like he was my pimp. He would then call and tell me to “nyam dem out” and give him “a thing” after. I have blocked him because he is too disgusting.

Theo, 19, student:

I have an older cousin who they claim has a mental illness — but his madness seems very selective. We live on a family property and our house is very close to the main family house. He only starts cursing when he sees me taking a girl to the house, as if he wants to scare her off or something, or when we get prim and proper guests. I think that he does it to make us miserable. We think of him as the pit bull in the yard that we protect our guests from, and we now have to be careful who we invite to the house because not everybody will be okay with all the bad words and nonsense he talks.