When lovers become roommates
When something is new, it is exciting and refreshing, treasured and protected. The problem is when things become familiar, and relationships struggle with this as once-upon-a-time lovers battle it out in the daily grind of living together. How do you get through this phase where you feel more like roommates than lovers?
Kedesha:
You have to go through it once you’re living together and it doesn’t matter if you are married or not. Once someone is in your space, you have deal with their ups and downs and the great news is, it won’t last forever. What worked for my husband and I was that we decided to go see a counsellor and that was where we vented to each other about what was really bothering us individually. I recommend this if you and your partner are in this situation. Just get help.
Moye:
When my man and I started being distant, and I mean really distant, although we shared the same home, I suggested one day for us to go on a trip outside of our comfort zone and he agreed. It was on the trip that we started to work on our issues as a couple. You may not be in a position to travel around the world, but try a new environment. Talk and be open and ready to hear things that may hurt you. I think a relationship can be saved if love is still there.
Tammy:
This may sound scary but what my husband and I did was spend more time apart. Sometimes when you’re always in someone’s space and face it can be frustrating. It was in separation that we saw the need to fix our relationship and we decided to do things a bit differently by going out with our individual friends and doing things apart at times. It has helped in a major way for me.
Jodianne:
Communication is what saved my marriage. We had stopped talking and I think that can crumble a relationship faster than how the Titanic sank. I would start a conversation and when it was my husband’s time to explain, I would get heated and blast him. I started listening more and the more I started to listen, I understood what he was saying and we started working on what was really bothering us. Maybe you need to communicate deeper to really hear what you need to.
Pat:
I simply booked a counselling session because it really got out of hand. My husband wasn’t receptive at first about seeing a counsellor so I lied to him and told him to follow me somewhere to get checked because I was fearful. He bit the bait and we arrived at counselling. You cannot go wrong with seeking guidance from someone external to the problem.
