Men weigh in on women taking their last names after marriage
IN many cultures worldwide women have traditionally taken the surnames of their spouses the moment they are pronounced husband and wife. But this culture is slowly fading with more women opting to keep their surnames acquired at birth, or variations thereof.
One argument against taking a husband’s name is that women are treated as mere products of a transaction — at the end of which they are slapped with a label of ownership. For other women, the reason they do not take their partner’s name or may take but not use it is solely professional. The fact — if people are already familiar with addressing you by your maiden name in these circles, especially if you are well-established, this may interfere with your professional identity.
But what do men think? Does it really matter whether a man’s wife takes his name upon marriage? All Woman asked a few to weigh in.
Maurice, 33, real estate agent:
I would love for my lady to take my name when we marry. I don’t mind her ditching her surname altogether and just using mine. But if she goes double-barrelled or doesn’t take it at all, what is most important to me is that she is in my life.
Keithy, 38, teacher:
I am very traditional and so I would take a woman’s decision not to take my name as a sign of disrespect. It wouldn’t make me love her any less, but I know that I would feel at least a little hurt and I would definitely try to convince or ask her to reconsider accepting my name especially for official purposes even if she was going to keep her father’s name.
Omar, 28, painter:
Well of course I would want my woman to take my name. Although it shouldn’t matter because it is not the name she married, but I would just want that. Even though plenty of people don’t say it, as Mrs whatever you get more respect than if people think that you’re just shacking up.
George, 45, business owner:
My wife will take my name when we get married, but we spoke and agreed that it will only be used in church and other informal spaces. She has been in her job for 16 years and so she does not want to disrupt that. I am fine with her doing that.
Kemar, 34, soldier:
I will give that option to my wife; whether she wants to take my name or not is really up to her. Her commitment to me and our children, should we have any together, is the only thing that will matter to me.
Arnold, 27, payrol clerk:
I think many young folks have outgrown the tradition, but as a Christian country, we still embrace it. I personally would like my wife to at least consider a double-barreled name, but it doesn’t really matter in the end what she decides to do as far as a name goes.
Troy, 42, electrician:
To each his own, my grandmother always says. But I strongly believe that a wife should take her husband’s name.
Akeim, 24, student:
I think the tradition is sexist and it’s full time we do away with it. I believe that a lot of women are afraid to say they don’t want the man’s name because they want to be married or because they are made to believe they need it. But we should stop selling these traditions as a necessity.
— PENDA HONEYGHAN
