Homewreckers feel hell’s fury

A North Carolina, United States man recently won a US$75,000 judgement against his ex wife’s lover, who he claimed alienated her affections and ruined their marriage.

The landmark judgement came after a lawsuit filed by Kevin Howard, and which was one of several filed over the years in states that have this alienation or affections law, otherwise called the homewrecker law, under which spouses can sue another person for “purposefully interfering with the marital relationship”.

If a spouse can prove that the relationship would have been salvageable had a third party not interfered, they have just cause to file, and several people have successfully sued over the years, and have been able to collect millions.

Though Jamaica has no such law on the books, or legal recourse for spouses that feel that they have been wronged — that if only that third party had been out of the picture their unions would have stood a chance — that hasn’t stopped some spouses from going all out to ensure that their unions remain intact when there is an attempt by an outsider to poach. And the methods — some quite ingenious — have reaped success in a few cases, as the people below shared.

Melody, 42, married 21 years:

I took our vows seriously — it was till death do us part, not till another woman separated us. This neighbour of ours did everything to interfere in our relationship — have you seen the movie Obsession? That was what I was experiencing even though my husband would brush it off and say she was just a nice woman and I was overreacting. But I know better than to trust women. I was devastated for a while when he seemed to be leaning towards her — he would sing praises for her food, for example — but I was no wilting flower and one day I just decided that enough was enough. See, I used to go abroad to work for weeks at a time and that was when she would strike, because he was lonely. So she would cook for him and come over to do his laundry and stuff like that, and he allowed her to. Well, I decided to fight back. I told everybody that I was leaving the island but instead of actually leaving, what I did was to just stay indoors most of the time. Within a week of my ‘exit’ there she was at my house with a pot of stew peas for my husband, who loved his belly so much that he didn’t even refuse. So he collected the meal and I sent him to take a shower, and promised him a bedroom surprise after he did. He went, and I poured a laxative in the stew peas, then served him his meal. Let’s just say that after that night he learned never to eat from people again, and that relationship slowly fizzled, as he was positive that she wasn’t clean and that’s why he got sick.

Judine, 26, in a relationship:

A few years ago a woman went after my long-term boyfriend and thought she was successful in stealing him away from me. He cheated on me with her and they even reached the point where they were discussing engagement and children. I decided that if I couldn’t get him, she couldn’t either and so I set up another friend to try to seduce him, and being a typical man, he fell for it. I was there taking pictures of his encounter with my friend, and if that wasn’t enough, we decided to get creative with Photoshop. We made sure his face was visible, then made my friend look like a guy, then sent the photos to various people, including some of the girl’s friends. It was the talk of the community and he has never lived down the belief people have that he’s not straight.

Jonathan, 36, in a long-term relationship:

I have lived with my babymother for about eight years, and I want to get married but she’s not ready yet. She’s very attractive and has a great personality so people are naturally drawn to her. Well, this contractor was at the house for about a month adding on a bathroom, and while I was at work during the days he tried to shoot his shot. She would joke about it when I got home, but I’m a nerd who works in IT and he’s very fit, so I was taking no chances. When he was done with our construction she told me that he had asked her out, with the “your boyfriend doesn’t have to know” line. Well, I decided that he was just too fresh for his own good. So I created a profile for him on a dating site for men and posted his phone number, and also posted an ad in the papers to the tune that he was providing construction — and massage services as a bonus.

Shellie, 29, married nine years:

This happened about four years ago when we were having some problems in the marriage. My husband works with a lot of attractive women, and so I’m always on the watch, even though I trust him. But at this particular point we were having the kinds of problems that also had us discussing separation, so I knew he was vulnerable. I realised that he was getting a bit distant even after we started working through our issues with a counsellor and one day at counselling, when we were supposed to share secrets, he confessed that this particular woman at work had got him thinking of her as more than a work colleague. Though he pledged to nip it in the bud, I figured it was my duty to help him, and bright and early Monday morning I gathered myself, turned up at his work and to HR, and reported that they were fraternising when the company had strict rules against employees dating and the strain was hurting me and our baby. He told me later that they both got called up and that he had no idea who ratted them out, but one of them had to leave the company and she took the fall. I told him that that was God’s way of keeping him free from temptation.

Richard, 40, married 11 years:

There was a man at my wife’s work who she would complain was always chatting her up, saying he would take her out if she was single and always making passes at her even when she was pregnant. One day I just drove there after work and waited until he drove out, then followed him. I confronted him at the bar he drove to and told him to back off or I would rearrange his face. He never approached her again and I would do it all again to protect my own.

MM, 37, married 12 years:

My husband believes that my late father was an obeah man — I don’t know how the rumour started — but from a little after we were married he told me that, and expressed that he knew that he couldn’t cheat on me or it would be sure retribution for him. Women have tried over the years to mess with him but I think the fear of what could happen to him if he strayed keeps him grounded. I don’t make him any wiser — if believing that I tied him or that some harm will come to him if he dissed me will keep him faithful, then I will go along with that story.

Leida, 49, separated:

He met her when he went to check out possible schools for our daughter and they started dating even though she later claimed that she didn’t know at first that he was married. I would nag him about needing to put his family first but I guess he got tired of the nagging so he moved out to be with her. She was a Christian prep school teacher so you know she had a reputation to uphold, but she got pregnant and I found out accidentally when I saw her on a plaza. That’s when I snapped. Before, I was just fasting and praying and expecting him to return after the indiscretion but a child changed the entire dynamic.

I found out where she lived and I hired a town crier to go through her scheme and announce, “Miss Campbell stole my husband. She’s pregnant for a married man. My children miss their father. My children cry for daddy every night”. That happened over a whole weekend. My husband moved back home soon after and I don’t know what happened with her or her baby, but he cut them off completely. He got ill a few years later and I left him, yes, in the middle of his illness when he needed support most. That was my revenge and I’m not divorcing him because it would be too difficult to divide all the property we have together.