The lies women tell men about themselves
THE truth is that if our pants really did catch fire every time we tell a lie, many women would only have skirts. We lie about small things, big things, and things in-between, and we are very good at it. Whether it’s a little white lie to hide an embarrassing detail about ourselves from a new partner, or an entire emotional monologue about a childhood experience that we simply did not have, a lie can slide off a woman’s tongue like water off a duck’s back.
It’s not very easy to catch a woman in a lie because, unlike many men (who lie unprovoked), women usually have a good reason for lying. These women share the lies they tell about themselves, and why they do it:
Her body count
Keenia, 34, copy editor:
I lie about my body count. The truth is that when I was at university I decided to try everything, and I honestly lost count of the number of casual encounters I had. I tried girls, too, and had a few group experiences. But now that I’m in my 30s I can’t tell this kind of thing to the kind of men I date now. My body count is probably more than 30, but I’ve only been in three serious relationships, so these are the ones I tell men about.
Shelly, 30, underwriter:
This is the trick to coming up with your actual number — don’t count the men you were not serious about, the college flings, the ones who migrated, or the ones who died. If I take all of that into consideration I’ve just had two boyfriends, and that’s what I will tell my future husband if he asks.
Her family or origin
Shernett, 28, entrepreneur:
I try not to talk about it, but if it comes up for whatever reason I lie about the family that I’m from. My dad had to leave the community when I was small because they say he sexually abused someone, and my mother was very abusive towards me. My brother molested me so I don’t talk to him, and the last I heard of my older sister is that she is a drug addict. I have a close friend who I spend the holidays with and her family is normal, so I just pretend it’s my family when people ask.
Valerie, 39, insurance salesperson:
No one would ever know my little district in St Elizabeth, so I tell people that I’m from Mandeville, which is a more upscale ‘country’. Plus, who would really want to know the truth — that I was dirt poor, my father was an alcoholic whose death we all celebrated, my mother hates all her children, and we still owe lots of people money, so much so that it is said that someone went to an obeahman and slept with a monkey to curse my family?
Her relationship status
Anna, 25, student:
I tell men that I’m in a relationship, even though I’m not. It’s like once you let them know that you’re single they feel obligated to pursue you further, or start getting into your business trying to find out what is wrong with you why you are single.
Brittney, 27, legal secretary:
I wouldn’t call it a lie exactly. The thing is that I have a man abroad but he is married to someone else for papers. So technically I’m in a relationship, but technically it’s to a married man, so that cancels it out and makes me single. That is what I tell the men I’m interested in.
Her children
Davina, 35, geriatric nurse:
I don’t feel good about it, but only tell the men I’m talking to about my child who lives with me. I had two children in my teenage years and they now live with their dad, so I only talk about my last son who is five. It’s not that I’m ashamed, but I have been judged by men in the past who treated me like I was good for nothing when I told them that I had a child at 16 and another at 17. If things get serious with someone then I will open up about the older ones.
How pleased she was
Iesha, 30, store clerk:
The biggest lie I tell on myself is, “Yea, I came too.” Not every man can take it when you tell them the truth, and some men, no matter how hard they try, just don’t do it for me. I’m much better at pleasing myself because I know exactly what I like and they just don’t know their way around my body like I do. It’s nothing personal, so I’d rather not hurt their feelings.
