Let him lead, girl
UNLIKE women, men seldom communicate their emotional needs. However, we know that, just like us, they like to feel loved, appreciated, capable and needed. This can be a little challenging in light of the changing roles of men and women in society, and with women doing more of what men traditionally did, it could lead to men feeling insecure sometimes.
Has your alpha male taken the back seat in your relationship? Maybe it’s time you put him in the driver’s seat. Better yet, let him get his hands dirty and change your oil — a rugged overhaul of everything underneath your bonnet might just be what he needs to do to get your engine purring again.
These women share how they got revved up when they let their men take charge.
Marcia, 46, business owner:
You know how as men get older they think that they are not hot enough or not as appealing so they find younger women to validate them? I realised that my guy was heading down this route, and it was partly my fault. I had stopped telling him how much I wanted him, I had stopped sending him random texts, and I never bothered to get creative with puns or leave him notes. I wouldn’t say that men are needy, but they could use a little something sometimes to remind them that they are sexy and that we still love them, even if they have put on an inch or two in the abs region. So I started doing all that again and I could see him coming back to me, and reciprocating too.
Charmaine, 29, pump attendant:
I grew up knowing that I didn’t want a man to do everything for me because I didn’t want any man to think that he could talk to me any way he pleased. But I guess those were just boys because this man that I have, he wants to pay the bills and when I offered to help he said point-blank that he was the man of the house and I was disrespecting him by trying to give him money. Other things I think that he likes is when I run things by him even if I could have decided them by myself.
Simone, 38, bursar:
Every Sunday my husband either washes my car or takes it to get it washed — he services it and checks everything on it to make sure that it is in tip-top condition. He likes doing that for me and so I allow him to. Another way in which I would say that I support his masculinity is by following his steps — so, for example, if we go out I stand behind him. I support him in conversations and I also treat him like a king. So just as how he takes care of my car, I make sure that I cook for him, dish out his meal, make his favourite juices, and I massage him down and so on — you know, make him feel good.
Leona, 43, fashion designer:
I don’t make any decision without my husband because we are a team and I value his opinion as the head of the family. I make sure that he looks good — I cook for him, iron his clothes and so on, and when he is looking fine, I tell him. Because as a woman that is my job and I see too many of us sisters losing our men to these little girls because we don’t reinforce the fact that our men look good at any age.
Michelle, 25, student:
Women can make their men feel more manly in a lot of ways — it is not hard. We can get our men involved with the more technical things around the house like fixing the pipes, putting up the curtain rods and such — you know, the more handy kind of work. We can ask them to wax the car, align the mirrors, or anything that is auto-related. We can also say nice things to them — tell them they look good, buy them something nice… because they shouldn’t do all the spoiling. I think that it is the small things that help to make them feel like kings most times.
