Can your love survive the pandemic?

AFTER isolating at home for just under three months, many Chinese nationals quickly made use of several services as soon as the business places started reopening last month. Among these places were local government offices which saw a sharp increase in divorce applications. Experts contend that many couples who would have otherwise not been in each others’ spaces all day, everyday, spent too much time together and this caused things to sour.

As we get settled into working from home in Jamaica for at least another few weeks, some pet peeves in relationships might have already started to develop into arguments and passive aggression. How will your relationship survive?

Author and relationship coach Caleen Diedrick explained to All Woman that the sudden disruption in daily routines, changes in income levels, frustration from homeschooling and constant childcare, feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, and just being in an enclosed space for too long can take a toll on the mental state of both you and your partner, which can in turn affect the quality of the time spent together, and the outcome.

“It’s a difficult period all round for everyone and it can be especially difficult for couples who were always on the go, and had gotten used to having a lot of time away from their partners each day,” she said. “These factors, such as reduced income, exhaustion from parenting all day, and trying to work from home, would have already put you and your partner in a bad mood, so it is very easy for ill-feelings and arguments to develop.

“If couples are to survive prolonged isolation together, the lines of communication must remain open and available for both partners and they must each be prepared to give and take support as they navigate the unsteady waters,” she added. “This is an opportunity for us to work on our conflict resolution skills and work through built-up resentment and issues that we may not have had a chance to deal with before we were in each others’ spaces so much.”

Will your love survive? All Woman asked readers to share what will happen to their relationships as they are forced into togetherness while the world battles this pandemic.

WE’LL STAY TOGETHER

Shanique, 36, police officer, together for 13 years:

Yes, my relationship can survive. We are both essential workers so nothing has really changed for us in terms of a routine. I do hate that he doesn’t come home straight after work because of how serious things are getting, but that’s not enough to tear us apart.

Jermaine, 44, manager, together for 15 years:

To be honest, I think my wife and I are much closer than before; she treats me like a king even though I didn’t always treat her equally. Sometimes you judge a person because you are not in their shoes, and now watching her and even playing her role a few times as she takes care of this family, it has really made me appreciate her more. So now, you know, I’ll try to give her a back rub, even though I work from home and just want to turn in after being around the laptop in meetings all day. I can’t wait for things to get back to normal so that I can spoil her even more and show her how much I appreciate her and to make up for the times that I was bitter and hard on her.

Stanley, 47, contractor, together for five years:

The quarantine period so far has been good for my family and even better for me and my wife. Not to say we agree on everything, but the good, by far, is more than the bad. She is a very good woman, and I am the luckiest man alive to have her. She is the best mother and she has tried to make the period of staying inside not feel so depressing, and I am a ‘road man’. I didn’t think I would survive inside, but with good sex, good food, and good family entertainment, our family is closer and my wife and I are happier. I guess I just need to take some more time off to make things better between us.

HANGING BY A THREAD

Tavia, 33, teacher, together for five years:

Right now this relationship is hanging on by a thread. Our relationship was shaky before to be honest, but these past few weeks have been so trying I can’t really say that things will work out. I don’t know if I would regret if it doesn’t work out either.

Mike, 40, business owner, together for 11 years:

Since this quarantine, I think we have argued more in these few short weeks than we have our whole lives. Everything is a problem — how my mouth sounds when I eat, politics, how I sweat when we’re having sex — like I don’t always sweat, how I don’t help with the kids… Everything that was never usually a problem is a problem. I don’t think we are going to break up though. We love each other deep down, it’s just that we have to find a better way to deal with our differences. But my wife is a miss know-it-all, and I am not giving up my rights, so I think we will end up in counselling.

IT’S GOING TO END

D, 37, nurse, together for nine years:

I have not seen my husband in at least three weeks. I made the decision to work, knowing this period of separation could make or break us. He is a serial cheater and maybe this is the kind of separation that I needed to get him out of my system. He has no clue I am collecting video evidence from inside our home, and to make things worse, in our bedroom. He thinks that I am a pushover and my forgiving nature and dislike for divorce will make me stay, but this virus has taught me that life is short. I am no longer going to rob myself of that blessing. When the dust settles, I am making a clean break.