6 tips for repairing & restoring your marriage
Our Marriage & the Family page has uplifting content from Family & Faith Magazine founded by Editorial Director Shelly-Ann Harris.
SOME time ago, a beloved international gospel artiste announced that he and his wife of several years were getting a divorce, this to the shock and dismay of his fans and the Christian community. Indeed marriages seem to be taking a battering these days. What can married folks do to not only survive in their marriage but truly enjoy it and live out their life purpose? How can those who feel distant find hope for renewal? Here are three Bible -based tips for repairing and restoring your marriage.
1. Introspect and strive to be a whole person. Your spouse wasn’t meant to complete you, but to complement you and covenant with you for the fulfilment of God’s purposes. When you are whole and complete, you make a much better partner for your spouse. But don’t seek after wholeness to win over your spouse, seek after it because that is God’s glorious plan and provision for you. “I am come that they may have life, and may have it more abundantly.” – John 10:10
2. Repent. If you are ill-treating your spouse or being unfaithful, one of the first steps to restoring your marriage is repentance. “ Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man (or woman) his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.”– Isaiah 55:6-7
3. Let go of all kinds of bitterness and resentments and forgive. If you are a child of God, forgiveness is not an option. If your spouse has done you wrong, obey the instruction of our Heavenly Father and forgive, and as God’s child you have access to the power of the Holy Spirit to help you release all the pain and hurt. This is also part of how you can achieve wholeness.
4. Love sacrificially. Sometimes you have to perform acts of kindness that your spouse does not deserve. Perform the act anyway. Love was never about what they deserve; but the expression of God’s presence in your heart. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13: 4-5.
5. Recently, we outlined Dr Gary Chapman’s five love languages – words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Maybe it’s time to rediscover and reassess your partner’s love language – after all, over time we all grow and change. According to family therapist and counselor Dr Barry Davidson, discerning your spouse’s love language “can help heal past wounds and provide a sense of security, self-worth, and significance, so that intimacy remains even when you have to go and get your teeth!”
6. Sometimes it’s useful to get help from a third party to help walk you and your spouse through the problems in your marriage. Seeing a professional counsellor or qualified pastor can definitely help to wade through and resolve issues, hold both of you accountable, and provide practical actions for each of you to take as part of the healing process.
Do you have any other suggestions for restoring a troubled marriage? Send your comments to familyandfaithmagazine@gmail.com.
