Miracle babies: The tale of two Gabrielles

This is the fourth in a series of women’s journeys to motherhood after suffering through pregnancy loss, and/or gynaecological issues that may affect fertility or complicate pregnancy. These include conditions like endometriosis, adenomyosis, uterine fibroids and polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). The aim of these stories is to raise awareness about female reproductive issues, and help women to identify when something is amiss, while serving as a beacon of hope for women with similar stories.

LIKE most newly-weds, Kearon Stenn was very excited to start a family with her husband. They had a home, were both gainfully employed, and had put resources aside to start having children. Stenn was prepared to have her lot.

What she was not prepared for, though, was to have a spontaneous miscarriage on her first attempt; to go into preterm labour the second time around, only to watch her two-day-old daughter draw her last breath; and to suffer a loss so great that it irreparably damaged her union.

“Everything was very promising. We never anticipated struggle,” she told All Woman about when she started trying for a family in 2010. “Even though my first pregnancy ended in a spontaneous miscarriage at 10 weeks, the doctor said that was very normal, so I just went on my way and by July of 2010 I was with child again.”

Stenn, who teaches at a high school in the Corporate Area, had an uneventful pregnancy up until January 2011, when at 26 weeks pregnant she was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia at a routine prenatal check-up.

“Originally I was scheduled to deliver my baby at Nuttall Memorial Hospital, but due to how severe my case was, I had to be rushed to Victoria Jubilee Hospital,” she recalled. “I spent seven days at the hospital. When the consultant came in, that’s when I understood the severity of what was happening. He said to me that pregnancies don’t always go as planned…”

The decision was made by the medical team to deliver the baby by C-section there and then, as she was losing a significant amount of protein. The doctor explained to the couple that they had to do their best to save the mother’s life, even if that meant the baby might not make it.

“She was born on January 28 weighing a little over two pounds, and I named her Gabrielle Tahira Brown,” she remembered emotionally. “It took me a day to meet her after delivery, and when I went to visit her she opened her eyes and looked at me and knitted her brows, then closed her eyes. That gave me hope.”

Stenn was absolutely devastated when the doctors called her the next day and told her that her daughter was not progressing, and they would have to take her off the machine.

“I watched her take her last breath. I don’t know what could be worse,” she shared. “The way my heart was palpitating, it felt like if you just touched me it would burst open. I also lost my hearing temporarily from the trauma of all that was happening.”

Stenn returned home from the hospital empty-handed, to find that a relative had been kind enough to remove all the newborn items from her home so she wouldn’t have to see them.

“I don’t know if that made it worse or better,” she reflected. “I didn’t really want anybody to know the severity of what was happening, because of the nature of my health. I kept my relatives at bay until I was a little better.”

Stenn decided to cut her maternity leave short and return to work in less than a month, and she threw herself into teaching, as a way to escape her grief.

“Sitting down at home alone wasn’t cutting it,” she said. “It was devastating for my students as well, and some of my colleagues didn’t understand why I was back at work again, but work was my way of trying to heal.”

In July of that same year, Stenn got pregnant again, but she didn’t even suspect it. Her doctor casually mentioned it at her routine check-up for the new school year, and referred her to have an ultrasound done.

“When I went to do the ultrasound there was no baby on the monitor,” she said dejectedly. “The doctor eased me up from the bed and said, ‘I can see the disappointment. I see you wanted another answer, but I’ll tell you this: the next time I see you, you will be pregnant.’ ”

And, indeed, her miracle baby was just hiding, because when Stenn was re-examined and sent back to do another ultrasound days later, the 10-week-old foetus was unmistakably present.

“And this time around I was pregnant for a whopping 36 weeks and four days!” Stenn said joyfully. “The pre-eclampsia came back, but thank God she was developed enough to be able to pull through.”

Stenn decided to honour her second daughter with the same name she had chosen for the first, because she looked exactly like the firstborn baby.

“To date, nobody can tell me that God doesn’t have a sense of humour, because my actual due date for my Angel baby was to be April, and my Rainbow baby was born the following April, looking exactly like her big sister. It’s nothing short of a miracle.”

But the feeling was bittersweet. There was still a lot of unpacked trauma from the loss of the first Gabrielle that loomed over this new baby’s head. The parents had never sat and really grieved their loss together, and the residual feelings of guilt, fear and unforgiveness manifested themselves in overprotectiveness and emotional distance. The marriage eventually ended.

“But even though it went downhill for my spouse and I, we manage to co-parent well,” Stenn divulged. “She is now eight years old, and she is a miracle in all aspects.”

It was in 2019 that Stenn learnt about the 4Damani support group for parents who have suffered pregnancy and infant loss, through its founder Crystal-Gayle Williams. The group helped her to finally be able to properly grieve her Angel baby.

“I got myself a tattoo for both of them, and that gave me a form of peace that surpasses understanding. It allows me to wake up everyday and see them,” she smiled.

Stenn is happy to know that while her Rainbow baby lights up her life on earth, her Angel baby is watching over her little sister as she grows. Now 32, the mother is hopeful that more children will be in her future.

“I am praying for that stability again where I can be a complete unit with my new spouse and we can have a child together,” she said optimistically. “But even if that’s not in the cards, I thank God that I was able to recover from the tragedy, and that despite everything, I was able to have my miracle baby.”

Can you relate to getting pregnant despite the odds? If you have had a baby after suffering pregnancy loss or gynaecological issues that affected your fertility, share your birth story with us and inspire others. Send e-mails to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com