When I brought him home for Christmas
CHRISTMAS gatherings have never been just about the food. Outside of funerals, it is the only time of year when many large families get to reunite and catch up on each others’ lives. As such, the traditional Christmas family ‘get-together’ is a place where many new relationships are either strengthened or irreparably broken. The unsuspecting guests might think they are going to a feast, but in many cases they are the lambs heading to the slaughter. Most of your relatives will be polite enough to your guest (except that drunk uncle who is rude to everyone), but families still have a way of making it clear whether your love interest has been approved or rejected by the tribe without even saying a word to them.
With large family gatherings being strongly discouraged this year, many new girlfriends and boyfriends will be spared the year-end trip to the slaughterhouse that could determine their fate. But in the spirit of Christmas, these readers share what happened in previous years when they brought their spouses back to the village.
Michelle, 34:
The first time I brought my husband home, my father deliberately kept calling him by my ex-boyfriend’s name as if he was joking. He also kept asking about my ex, and bringing up the few memories he had with him. I knew that they would have had a lot to say, because my ex was a doctor, and the new person I brought home was a mechanic. But over time, they had no choice but to warm up to him, especially after we announced our engagement.
Geena, 25:
One of my brothers brought his girlfriend and her mom home one time, and it turned out that our dad had been in a relationship with the girl’s mother back in the day. Bear in mind our dad is now married, and his wife was also right there. She didn’t seem pleased at all, and it was all kind of awkward. I don’t know if that’s why it ended between my brother and the girl, but we never saw her or her mother again.
Jason, 31:
When I was in university I brought one of my Bajan friends home for Christmas dinner, since she had no other plans. I tried to tell my family that we were just friends, but they didn’t care. They were so smitten with her accent. It’s the nicest I ever saw my family. They butchered the English language trying to talk to her, and offered her everything. That was years ago, and up to this day my aunties still want to know how my nice friend from the island is doing.
Shericka, 29:
I brought home a much older man when I was 23. The guy was like 45 at the time. So my man, my daddy, and my uncles all played dominoes and drank beer and talked about God knows what. He blended right in, so I thought it was a success. Only for him to tell me afterwards that he felt weird and he didn’t think they approved of us being together.
Annie, 24:
Last year my cousin brought home this ‘stush’ girl for Christmas to spend the whole weekend at the house. Our spirit never took to her from the beginning, but we were nice enough to her. The first night the girl saw a croaking lizard on the verandah and she shouted to my cousin, “Look at that huge thing! I don’t know why you brought me into this bush for the wild animals to kill me!” My cousin tried calming her down but she kept complaining, until my auntie said, “So carry her home then, since she can’t take the bush.” So he left that night and came back with a different girl the next morning. We laughed among ourselves but we didn’t even question it.
