‘Babes, married me nuh?’…and other ways Jamaican men propose
THERE are many difficult questions that a man may have to ask in life, and ‘Will you marry me?’ is pretty high up on the list. While marriage proposal traditions vary among cultures around the world, most of them involve the similar elements, such as the getting down on one or both knees, seeking the blessing of the parents of the intended bride, and using a symbolic object, usually a ring, to represent the promise of marriage.
Many Jamaican women will tell you, however, that their husbands are no respecters of tradition. Some can’t even remember a question being asked for them to provide an answer. For others, the question was popped in such an unconventional and underwhelming way that had it not been for their uncoditional love, they would have said no. These women share:
Christina, 30:
I actually told him ‘no’ the first time he asked me to marry him, and told him that I needed a better proposal. We were dating for two years, and we were just at home one Sunday and I was in the kitchen cooking in my yard clothes and everything and he came and held me from behind and said, “Married me nuh.” I thought he was joking, or just trying to get a piece, so I laughed it off, then I saw that he had a ring, so I asked, “Wah wrong wid yuh knee?” It developed into a little argument and then we talked it over and agreed that he would try again. The next weekend he asked me out and everything and did it properly.
Jhounelle, 28, physical therapist:
He proposed because I told him I’m going to marry another man. It was just a regular conversation we were having on the phone.His proposal was literally, “Don’t marry him; marry me.”
Shellice, 34, freelance writer:
He proposed to me with a flower. Not even a fresh-cut rose or anything fancy, just a random yellow wildflower that was growing on the roadside. We were visiting his relatives that weekend and walking from one home to the next and he stopped and said he had something to ask me. We were having a little argument earlier that day, so I said, “Don’t ask me anything”. He picked the flower and said, “But what if I want to ask you to marry me.”
Cheraine, 54, housewife:
After being together for 26 years, he finally decided he was ready one night after our last child had gone off to college. We were driving back home after an evening out with some friends, and Marry You by Bruno Mars was playing on the radio. When the song was almost finished he turned it down and said, “A full time now we married inno, Cher. How much money we have can spend on the wedding?” We got married a month later.
Samantha, 30, police officer:
I was pregnant when he asked me to marry him, and I actually cried when he asked because of how angry it made me. We weren’t going to have a baby shower, so my girlfriends planned a little group outing to a popular restaurant and lounge on my birthday to celebrate my special day, and me becoming a mom. They brought gifts for me and the baby and everything, and it was going well. So anyway, everyone was giving their nice wishes for a happy birthday and safe delivery and everything, and that’s when my boyfriend decided that he wanted to steal the spotlight for himself and propose. I said yes because I didn’t want to embarrass him, but I really didn’t want him to propose while I was pregnant, because that gives the impression that he was only marrying me because of the pregnancy. I also thought it was tacky for him to propose on the one day that celebrated me throughout the whole miserable nine months.
