Babymother says I’m not the father

DEAR MRS MACAULAY, My babymother registered our son in basic school under her name, and I only found out when I went to collect his report recently. When I asked her what happened, she said the child wasn’t mine, and she plans to make changes on his birth certificate soon. After his birth four years ago, I signed all the documents that I was told to sign, and I have been doing everything as his father. Can she do this? I am devastated, as this is my first child.

What is wrong with this mother that she could act in such an atrocious, unfeeling, disrespectful and untrustworthy manner after clearly misleading you for over four years? She must have known that you were not the father from the beginning when she became pregnant.

She must have known at the time she became pregnant that she had been having sexual relations with you and another man.  She clearly is very adept at manipulating a lie to appear as the truth, because you believed her then, and throughout all the years since then.  She chose you to be the  registered father of the baby because at the time she concluded that you were the better of the two, for some reason.

You accepted that you were going to be a father when she informed you that she was pregnant and you were clearly happy with this and fully assumed your role then as an expectant father, and after the birth of a boy child, you were thrilled to be the father.

You proudly and happily signed all the necessary documents to be registered as his father.  You also assumed all your duties, obligations and rights of a father.

I can truly appreciate how confused and devastated you must have felt when you saw your son’s report, and with the mother’s subsequent explanations.

Well, she cannot just make changes to the birth certificate as she has advised you. She cannot just go to the Registrar of Births and Deaths and change what she herself had declared upon reporting the birth of her son to the registrar, when she named you as that father. This was a Declaration on Oath, and it is an offence to knowingly make a false declaration and she can be  charged and tried for her offence.  In addition, upon your signing the documents you did, among  them was a declaration also, which you signed based on your belief that you were her only sexual partner and you also believed when she informed you that she was pregnant and that you were the father. She again repeated this during her report to the Registrar of the birth,  and you three went on in this way, as mother, father and son, up to and after the child’s fourth birthday.

This child has known you as his father, and a father and son relationship has developed between you both. So she has also wronged her son and would cause him confusion and trauma.

She would have to go and make an application in the Family Court of your parish and convince the court that she is now speaking the truth and confess to her earlier lie. The court would require strict proof about which of her assertions of the paternity of her son is in fact the truth, and then, that it would be in the best interests of her son that his birth records should be changed.

She would also have to serve this other man who she would be claiming is her son’s father, and acceptably and satisfactorily explain why she lied to you.  The judge may or may not accept her evidence, and the other man would have to give evidence of their sexual encounters and the dates and times, and whether he had known of the child’s birth at the time, and if not, when he knew of it and how.

Your evidence would also have to be taken, and after all that, the judge would decide whether or not to grant her application. If it is granted, the question of all that you have spent throughout the years would have to be dealt with, and generally, the court would order that the deceitful mother must repay the total to you pursuant to the Children’s (Guardianship and Custody) Act.  The judge would decide whether to try the issue of her offence there and then, or postpone that to be dealt with on another date.

My advice to you is that you should go to the Family Court and see the clerk who is responsible for assisting applicants to draft their applications and affidavits in support, and make your own application. The clerk will have you sign, and ensure service on the mother of the child. She can attend court on the assigned date of the hearing and answer to your claims and assertions.

You should have the clerk help you to apply for firstly, a declaration  of paternity. This will mean that a DNA test will have to be done, and if you know who she is now saying is the father, this may be sufficient for a judge to order a DNA test of him also.  But it may be sufficient for you to only have your own test done, so that you would know the truth of your paternity, which is absolutely necessary, since the mother stated that the child was not yours, and even went further to say that she plans to make changes on his birth certificate.

As I have made clear, any changes of your son’s birth certificate, if being done legally, can only be done by a court order, so either she, the other man, or you, must apply to the court for a declaration of paternity, and I feel very strongly that such an applicant should be made by you.

So please either go to the Family Court for your parish and have your application for a declaration of your paternity done or obtain the services of an attorney-at-law to act for you and have it done as quickly as possible. Neither your son nor you ought to be left in this situation any longer.  Your son cannot do anything about it, but you can and must, because the only way what his mother said can be undone is for the matter to be determined by a court order.

Your application must also include the issue of the custody and care and control of your son, to be joint if you are his biological father, and if not, for the refund of all that the mother’s lie caused you to pay out for your son’s and any other expenses. Then the issue of her false declaration  on her report of his birth would have to be dealt with by the court.

This is so unfortunate because your pride in your fatherhood and your deeply felt confusion following your discovery of the name on his school report and then your horror and devastation upon the mother’s response to your query of it, are all apparent in your letter. Urgency in finding out the truth is necessary, so please act now for your son’s sake and I wish you and him all the very best.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public, and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com. All responses are published. Mrs Macaulay cannot provide private, personal responses.