5 happy marriage tricks anyone can learn
THE key to a happy marriage isn’t necessarily duplicated using the same mould our grandparents used, as things and times have changed. The high divorce rate isn’t totally an indicator that values have shifted; in fact, many people who get divorced had approached marriage in the same way their parents and grandparents did, yet theirs may not have lasted, for various reasons that had nothing to do with commitment.
Happy marriages aren’t automatic after the pastor closes his bible and bids the couple adieu — they take work, commitment, and the will of both parties to see things through no matter what may come. What happens many times is that the couple depends on just the strength of the pairing or the union to see them through, and ignore all the other factors that must be brought into play — on a consistent basis — for the marriage to thrive.
Below, counsellor David Anderson points to some happy marriage tricks anyone can learn, that will make your union last through the years, with the happiness of both parties as a main feature.
Enjoy each other’s company
This means that when you shut the door at night, you can both sit down and laugh and talk and reminisce, and not feel burdened by each other’s presence. Enjoying each other’s company doesn’t mean that you both don’t have other friends or other interests, but it means that you regard your partner as your best friend, and you genuinely like each other, like doing stuff together, and have no qualms about being honest and direct with each other.
Express love to each other
You don’t necessarily have to say ‘I love you’, but your partner should know it through your actions. Expressing love should be a constant in your marriage — through the way you act, the things you say, how thoughtful you are, and through your partner not ever doubting that this is the case, no matter what.
Be nice to each other
Truth is, it’s hard to be jolly 24/7, and nobody’s asking you to. But even in anger, even when you’re fighting, there’s a way to do it so your words don’t hurt the other person. Choose to be kind, even when you’re feeling like blowing your top.
Be honest
Honesty can take many forms — and it’s not just about not cheating. Be honest if you don’t like the food she prepares, what she wears, how she spends her free time, how she parents the children…Don’t wait for an argument, and then raise all your issues with her while you’re hopping mad. Happy couples are able to separate constructive criticism from malicious intent, and are able to take guidance from the other party and adapt as required.
Be realistic
Happily-every-afters are for storybooks, and once the couple acknowledges that, there will be no grand expectations from either party that no human can reasonably fulfil. Couples in happy marriages will know that no one is perfect, that mistakes will happen, that they will be angry sometimes, that they will not like their spouses many times, but at the end of the day, it’s the couple against the world. Being realistic that marriage is no bed of roses, but being willing to stay in the garden anyway, will go a far way in ensuring that no one party is let down when the other is unable to meet certain standards that may just be unattainable.
