7 things that don’t belong in the bedroom
OUR bedrooms are more than just sleep sanctuaries; they’re also the primary places in the house where couples can look forward to sweet pillow talks, connecting with themselves and their partners, playing out fantasies, and where they can be most unguarded and vulnerable. Unfortunately, sometimes, this sacred space is tainted by activities that hurt one or both parties and suppress intimacy. Could you be saying or doing things in the bedroom that cause your partner grief?
Below, relationship expert Wayne Powell highlights seven things that have no place in the bedroom.
Fear of being judged
Sometimes, out of fear of being judged, many people, women in the majority, don’t express their sexual desires. If you are generally judgemental and carry this into the bedroom, your partner can become so anxious that they struggle. The bedroom should be a safe space.
Pressure to do something you’re not comfortable with
Coercion has no place in the bedroom and so you should NEVER have to fulfil any requests you find unreasonable. This is why it is important to have discussions about sex before diving in the deep when dating — if you have limits, list them, and if there are things you can compromise on, make this clear so that you don’t have any confusion.
Shame for what you desire
Sexual guilt or feeling like you are unclean for having sexual thoughts and desires is not cool. You should be free to express your desires, feelings, creativity and confidence during sex. You shouldn’t be ashamed to share your sexual desires with your partner.
Insecurity about what you look like
Unfortunately, many women struggle with feelings of insecurity surrounding their body image, especially after childbirth. Pointing out your partner’s faults in the bedroom can cause him/her to feel great pain and trigger feelings of shame, making sex awkward. If you notice your partner is insecure, reassure him/her that they are loved regardless, and kiss them on places that they try to hide.
Discussing important matters and making life-changing decisions moments before going to sleep
Some topics have no place during pillow talk because of the chances of them causing conflict. Some of these include finances, incomplete chores, money, insecurities, and other ongoing problems in the relationship.
Highlighting and bragging about the details of your past sexual encounters
No one likes hearing about what it was like with your ex and especially not about sexual experiences that still obviously have you whipped. Conversations of this nature can turn your partner off and you can kiss the hope of getting lucky goodbye especially if your partner is less experienced or lacks confidence about their abilities in bed.
Bringing an arrogant, ‘know-it-all’ attitude to the bedroom
No matter how sexually experienced you are, the first thing to remember is that every sexual partner is different — we all like different things. Instead of insisting on doing your signature moves that are popular with “most” women or men, take your time to see what your partner likes.
