How I reacted to being cheated on

IT’S never easy finding out that your trust has been betrayed by the one you love. Did you do something wrong? How long has it been going on? Does your partner need something you don’t possess? What does this new person have that you don’t? Do they know about you? Can your relationship survive it? Do you even want it to?

And the questions keep coming, with no sure answers. How you will respond to the situation will depend heavily on your answers to some of these questions, and your ability to balance logic and emotions.

While leaving the relationship immediately seems to be the politically correct response to infidelity, those of us who have been in the position know that it’s not always that simple. And even when it is that simple, our hearts sometimes convince us otherwise.

These people confess some of their less-than-proud reactions to being cheated on.

Kevin, 31:

It was my first relationship, and I have since learned my lesson. We had been together since high school and we both started attending different universities, but we were just a taxi away from each other. One day she told me she slept with a boy she met on campus, and she didn’t regret it. I was deeply hurt, but seeing that we were each other’s firsts, I tried to be a man about it and told her that I would allow her to explore with other guys. She agreed and I told her we could have an open relationship.

Hurt, 58:

I was at work and she came and told me that I hadn’t bought her a suit in the longest while, so I took her downtown and bought her $20,000 worth of clothes. In those days Digicel was giving away some big red beach towels and I got a brand new one, so I also gave that to her. Couple days after that I called her phone and couldn’t get her, so I drove to her house on the weekend. To my shock and horror, I saw her getting into a car with a man in the clothes I bought her, and even the red towel wrapped around her like they were going to the beach. I kept calling her phone and she didn’t answer. I followed the car for about 10 minutes with all sorts of crazy thoughts going through my head. But after a while I stopped and thought, ‘What am I really doing?’ and stopped trailing them and went home to my wife.

Roxanne, 50:

What hurt me the most when I caught him was knowing that we had made love twice the night before, and once that morning. I even had his laundry in the back of my car to drop off at the cleaners. That night I went to an outing with a few friends, but he ran a bar so he stayed at his business place. Something just felt off, so I didn’t stay out the entire evening. I went home and caught him with a woman in the same bed I was in just a few hours before. I started cussing and slapping him, and she ran to the bathroom. I didn’t argue with the girl, except to ask her if she didn’t see my things all over the place. After that I trashed his bar and made a scene in front of his family. That’s the worst behaviour I ever displayed in my entire life. But of course I took him back when I calmed down.

Tiffany, 28:

The other girl called me one night about midnight, and we talked until 8:00 the next morning. I had suspected them before and he denied it, and apparently he was stringing her along telling her he would soon leave me for her. I called him to argue, but when I told him that I spoke with her, he hung up. He didn’t talk to either of us for about a week, and in that time the girl and I became good friends. Long story short, he worked his way back into both of our lives quietly and somehow managed to convince us both to get back with him…together.

— CANDIECE KNIGHT