So apparently I was the other woman…
IMAGINE after months, and in a few instances, years, of being with someone you love, you learn that they have another family elsewhere, and you were unknowingly being a homewrecker. Many of us will say that this could never happen to us, but the reality is that it can and does happen.
Below, women who were fooled into believing that they were the only and only, share how they learned that they were, in fact, the women on the side.
Sheree, 31, linguist:
I volunteered as a camp guide for teenage girls in 2019 and we got close while he worked as the manager of the programme. We continued to work, got close, and eventually started to date. Seeing each other was difficult because we lived in different cities and both had hectic schedules.
We had planned to go to Paris for vacation. Tickets were bought, outfits, supplies for our planned engagements, and everything.
The day came and I was waiting for him to pick me up so we could travel to the airport together. When he didn’t turn up I panicked; something had to have happened to him. I called his two friends that I knew (I hadn’t met his family but had talked to a sister for whom I didn’t have a number). Two hours into my search I saw an incoming call from his number. But when I answered, the voice on the other end was a woman’s. I panicked, but nothing could prepare me for what I heard next. “I am Juan’s wife. You can go ahead and unpack your luggage because he isn’t going anywhere”. I couldn’t respond, but just before she hung up I heard her say, “stupid, husband snatcher”. I was numb. His friends tried convincing me that he had separated from her and she was just being a nag. I didn’t budge; not for him, not for them. I am healing now.
Tamera, 27, teacher:
My ex was so good to me that I never thought he was cheating, let alone that I was the side piece. When we met, I was still living in my mom’s house, and he moved me into a rental and paid rent each month. I was alone most nights, but I didn’t think anything of it because he said he worked at a hotel and they couldn’t bring guests there unless they paid. I got pregnant and he proposed to me and I said yes. Then one day a woman he told me was his supervisor called his phone while he was in the shower, and stupid me picked it up. It was his wife wanting to know if she should cook for him, or order in.
Monique, 29, practical nurse:
We were at the cinema watching a movie, and it was intermission and he was checking his phone. I saw a call come in, from ‘Wifey’, and confronted him about who that was, because I was sitting right there, and obviously wasn’t the one calling him.
Mind you, at this time we had been together for four years. His response was, “But baby, I thought you knew that I was married”. And he was seriously gobsmacked and puzzled, as to how I could be in the dark.
Marsha, 35, nurse:
I found out that I was the other woman when I decided to surprise my man in Jamaica. I went to Jamaica to keep a surprise party for him, and when I finally got help with directions to his house, I found out that he was living there with his babymother. I would soon learn that both of them were pretty much using me for a financial cushion. So all the time I was coming to Jamaica, we were together all the time, and this woman knew this and as I would learn, didn’t mind because she was being maintained with the money I gave him.
Tina, 29, customer service representative:
I found out that I was the other woman when the guy I had been seeing for months, dropped a business card in my car. Out of curiosity, I decided to Google the name and guess whose picture popped up, along with a feature story on his wedding two years back? The man had given me his middle name for his Christian name. When I confronted him, he insisted he was going to tell me and that things were rocky with his wife so he was begging me to stick around. I begged God for forgiveness even though I didn’t know he had a wife, and told him I was hitting the road. I did let him smash one last time because he brings magic to the bedroom, but I was firm and ended things.
Vivien, 41, homemaker:
Some years back, I was working for a man. I did all his business transactions, very much like a personal assistant. He paid me well. He didn’t reside in Jamaica but he travelled here often. We soon got close until we decided to take a try at things. As we got to sharing our wants and desires, he learned I was working on buying a house and offered to help not only with money, but he gave me one of his properties to live in temporarily so I could also save on rent.
We were happy together, we travelled the country together as well as a few trips to Florida, the Bahamas and Mexico and all the while I had his undivided attention. So you can imagine that I was positively blindsided when I got to the house (that I had permission to stay in, my man’s house), to see that my things were being packed up. I lost it, it had to be a mistake. I marched and demanded to speak with the lunatic who had made the orders. Only to hear somebody, say, “Oh, it’s you. Mi know it did too good fi be true. I see you assisted him with other things than just business. Well, my dear, the dolly house is done”. I was ready to fight. Then it is like a still, small voice said to me, “Viv, you nuh see the man trick you?” I looked down and saw the ring on her finger and put two and two together. Everybody was shocked. Even the wife realised that I couldn’t have known and apologised. I could have fought to stay in the house until I finalised things with my house purchase, but I left because it was cleaner that way. But call me crazy, we still fool around from time to time — the love is still in my system. He still financially supports my kids and helped me start a business.
