Shooting my shot… and failing miserably

CAPTIVATED by the welcoming personalities or striking physical features of others, people shoot their shots with the hope of having the same sentiment returned. However, that might not always be the outcome. In some instances, they are either relegated to the friend zone, or are totally ignored.

Have you ever, out of sheer bravado, or on the prompting of a friend, professed your love to someone, only to have them give you the cold shoulder?

AP, 28:

I live in Kingston. For some background, I was invited to worship in Spanish Town by my sister-in-law, and I reluctantly went, because I wasn’t really interested in their denomination. After worship we went to a member’s house for lunch and Bible study, and I met her son, and instantly fell in love. He was older, suave… a beautiful man. Needless to say, I immediately became more interested in the beliefs of the group, started attending regularly, and was soon ‘adopted’ by the member, who would have Bible study with me every week. The routine soon became that after Bible study, her son would be the one to take me back home to Kingston. One day he asked if I minded if he diverted, as he had to pick up something in Portmore. Of course I didn’t mind, and I sat there, admiring everything about him, from the hair on his arms to how beautiful his mouth was when he spoke. I got brave, and finally said, “Hey, you and I should go see a movie sometime,” and the car went silent. We drove in uncomfortable silence for a while, until he was saved by a phone call. Apparently it was his girlfriend, who I didn’t know about. He deliberately peppered the conversation with “my love”, and at one point said he was taking his “little sister” home. After he hung up he resumed the conversation with me, like I never said anything off key, and started some discussion about how glorious it would be for all of us to live in paradise on earth. But I was too devastated to participate in the discussion, and I just stopped going to worship with them after that.

AA, 21:

I remember when my friend showed me a handsome young man on Instagram. I decided to follow him and see what would happen — this was my first time shooting my shot. He followed me back, then started to like all my pictures. I was excited, but did not want to seem desperate before responding, so I gave it some time. I waited until he posted himself on his Instagram story. I didn’t want to appear basic by reacting to the picture, so I sent a message instead, which said, “Hey, you’re so handsome”. He just said, “Thanks” with a heart emoji. That was it, not even a “right back at you” to try to start a conversation. I decided that I wasn’t going to be embarrassed anymore so I just liked the message and moved on.

JB, 21:

I had liked this girl back in high school for a while, but being a shy person who is always overthinking, I couldn’t muster up the courage to tell her.

I started to carry her bag, saved a seat for her whenever we took the bus, and even allowed her to use my iPod to listen to music. Eventually, the time came for me to make a move and by then, I really thought she had feelings for me too. On that day, I gave her my seat and stood instead. Then I talked to her for a while and I shot my shot, but she turned me down. I must admit that she did it nicely, but even though I was used to rejection, it still hurt.

JM, 24:

We were going on a work retreat to a hotel in the country, and I thought I’d use the opportunity to approach this girl I liked who worked with the group. I arrived at the staff pick-up point early, so I could meet her, and show her what a gentleman I could be. Her mother dropped her off, so I rushed to the car door, opened it, and gestured for her to exit. She did, then when her mom popped the trunk, I reached in to grab her bags and this huge cooler. I then proceeded to bid her mom goodbye and to ask her to drive carefully, but by this time her mom was shaking, the way she was laughing. Then while I stood there, my arms filled with this girl’s things, her mom said, “Young man, don’t even try, you don’t stand a chance. You’re not my daughter’s type.” If the ground could swallow me, I would have gladly gone into the hole.

QR, 21:

I slid in a guy’s DM and complimented him. Lo and behold, it led to us meeting in person — the “let’s see if our energies match” type of get together. We had a quick convo and I was loading the compliments on him. You know when you make pancakes, stack them and put lots of whipped cream, syrup and cherries on top? So I’m there saying stuff like, “You look lovely and a suh people fi dress” and all these wonderful things. Only to realise at the end of the little conversation that I was being friend zoned. I’m here complimenting you and giving you the “approach me if you dare” vibe and then you friend zone me? Then, he had the audacity to say I was so funny and we should hang out again.

GH, 32:

I’m in a field where I interact with various professions, and I met this military guy through work. We hit it off so much, that we started hanging out outside of work. He was always a gentleman, not even a kiss on the cheek, and we’d just drive around most evenings and chat. After a few months I figured that it was time to invite him over, and seal the deal. I invited him for drinks, and we were drinking and chatting, and then I leaned over for a kiss. He kissed me briefly, then stopped. I took his hand and placed it on my bosom, and he pulled away. I asked him to stay, and he said I was drunk, and he didn’t want to take advantage of me. I begged him to take advantage of me, and he declined! Next time we saw each other he acted as if nothing had happened, and we resumed hanging out for a while. A few weeks after that I saw his wedding pictures on Facebook. So he had rejected me because he had a fiancée — except that I couldn’t even say that he was an honourable man, because he never advised me of that fact.

HK, 24:

Once, I slid into someone’s DM and I was complimenting them. I was saying things like “you’re so cute”, “you’re so hot”, etc. They didn’t return any of the compliments and all their responses were super cordial. They ended up unfollowing me a few messages later.