How do you handle being single when you don’t want to be?
THERE’S not a status as hyped as being single, in fact, so much has been said about enjoying the single life, that those who don’t belong to the clique are made to feel guilty for daring to couple up.
But as American writer Jonathan Anthony Burkett says, “Single life is the best life until you get hit by lonely nights.”
There are people who truly revel in living the solitary life — others, not so much. These people tell how they handle years and years of being single when they don’t want to be.
Jalissa, 29, single for five years:
After a while you don’t even remember what being in a relationship is like. It’s been just me and my daughter for so long, and after ending a really bad relationship, I’m fearful of upsetting the status quo, even though I’d love to be with someone. Some days are better than others, and even though I will get lonely on holidays, I immerse myself into motherhood.
Vea, 30, single for three years:
It’s frustrating being forced to pretend that everything is OK, especially when people make comments about marriage and having children, and that I’m too pretty to not have a man. But the truth is that I’ve tried, and each relationship has ended bitterly, so even though it’s lonely, I’m afraid to make the same mistakes again. I spend time watching romance flicks, and hope that one day I’ll find that lasting kind of love with someone who adores me.
Kady, 25, single for two years:
Sometimes I’ll cry about how lonely it is, being a single mom and having to do everything myself. My children’s father passed, so it’s not even like I get a reprieve with them — it’s me and them 24/7. It gets exhausting — I long to be kissed, to be loved, to be valued.
Peta-Gaye, 37, single for 15 years:
I’m still waiting on the man the Lord promised… after my last long-term relationship ended with him marrying another woman behind my back, I just threw myself into the church. I’ve been a Christian for 15 years now, and the walk is sweet, but the longing… man! But I’m waiting because I trust that the Lord knows best. I don’t remember what having a man in the house is like, but I’d like that someday.
Tyonna, 26, single for seven years:
In my case I don’t even have family to rely on, as we don’t really talk. It’s scary to think that you’re on your own, and that you have no one to rely on. If I was to be hospitalised, or to die right now, it would be ages before my family would even find out, and no one would love me enough to care. Being without a partner, family, or even a child to love is the loneliest existence ever.
Gabrielle, 31, single for three years:
I’ve accepted that I’ll have to tear up my list and compromise, and probably settle for someone I don’t really want, but even that is proving to be a problem. They say everyone has their person out there, but mine seems to be lost, or blind. I’m going up in age and it’s a constant worry that this awful state will be my future.
