12-month guide to happy, healthy relationships
AS beautiful as love may be, relationships, unfortunately, if not nurtured and nourished, may sometimes get complicated and confusing. Just like yourself, and every other aspect of your life, a relationship requires attention and investments to thrive and flourish. As you sit in reflection and chart the course of your life over the next few months, we hope that love and your relationship made it to the list of things that you will give special attention to and focus on in 2022.
If you are still working through the details, or you haven’t got around to it, we have a monthly guide from minister of religion and the So You Wanna Be A Wife: Husband Lives Matter author, Christopher Brodber. He shares a guide to a happy, healthy year together with monthly tips on how to keep the spark alive in your relationships.JanuaryServing each other
Forget the 50-50 notion, true love gives 100 per cent. It is unfortunate that we still invest in the power of 50/50. A 50/50 split essentially boils down to each person giving the exact same amount of themselves—fully. So many couples become so fixated on “equality” that they completely ignore what the relationship requires to thrive. Let’s use less of this term this year, instead, give your relationship what it requires where it is required.
FebruaryRomantic tripsMarch Love notesApril Being frankMayWhim gift-givingJune Acknowledging wrongsJuly Careful responsesAugustSupporting dreamsSeptember Committing timeOctober Displaying affectionNovember Use pet namesDecember Creativity matters
Make plans to be romantic. Life can get busy, but your quality of life matters. Romantic trips don’t only mean going to Dubai or to Paris – if you can afford it fine, but romantic trips also look like going back to the place where you met, a road trip to your favourite part of the island, a candlelight picnic under the stars, a dinner at a mutual favourite restaurant, or even the movies if that is what you both enjoy. The point is to make time for each other, to facilitate intimacy, spend time together and certainly have some fun.
Your beloved’s feelings matter. Love notes help to remind them they matter. Whether you are going to stick a daily note in his shirt pocket or in her daily planner or lunch box, a note is a sweet reminder of how you feel about your partner, reminding him/her why you fell in love, and what you love about him/her. Reassuring your partner of your love is important. Do it all year round.
Honesty, well-packaged, matters. Intimacy demands openness and honesty which are very important for every healthy, thriving relationships. Loving someone even as we don’t want to hurt their feelings, means being honest, it means exploring all the right or appropriate ways to be truthful. Also, remember every time you think about replacing the truth with a little white lie or just not sharing with your partner at all, think about how painful it would be if they found out that instead of talking to them you forced the issues to the back of your head.
Be spontaneous, drop off a gift as a surprise every now and then. They’ll know you love them and are thinking about them. Gifts don’t need to be expensive, they just need to be thoughtful.
Taking responsibility for hurting their feelings is important. It is a message to your partner that you are mature, you care, and are a person of integrity. It will also cause them to trust you more and this undoubtedly will strengthen your relationship.
This is a timely reminder that “A soft answer still turns away wrath…” Answer your beloved carefully when they’re hurting and have spoken to you harshly. Unfortunately, sometimes we allow our emotions to guide our response, and as such, they are uncalculated and harsh. Instead of responding with equally crass words, show your partner patience and be polite and tempered in speech.
Demonstrating or reminding your partner that you’re in support of their dreams shows you care about them deeply. They have plans and your support says they matter to you ask well. So ask them how the project, studies or plans for their new business are going. Also, ask how you may be of assistance, make sure that you are his/her best cheerleader – sell your partner’s business, read over her research paper, give him ideas on how they can better their business. Always remember, you are a team and when your partner wins, you do too – be there.
Plan to give each other undivided attention when you are together. Giving each other time matters – this means that you will put away the phone, send the kids to grandma’s house occasionally, ignore the work e-mails, turn off that series that you can’t seem to get your eyes off of. All your focus should be on being present, listening to your partner, taking note of their concerns, intimacy and reassuring him/her of your love.
Don’t be bashful about displaying affection for your beloved. Of course, do not embarrass them by going too far, but show them love. If they are not crazy about public display of affection, then a forehead kiss or one on the hand should be just fine. Outside of that, in the home do random hugs and kisses, a butt squeeze here and there or whatever your partner likes. Do it often; it reminds your partner that you still find them attractive and that they are loved.
From the moment most people get serious, words of endearment feature heavily in conversations (verbal and written interactions). Pet names show intimacy – they are unique names for each other to say “you matter to me”. So, whether it’s gonna be babe, honey, snookums, sweet cheek, pumpkin or you are going to create something unique to you two – just make sure that your partner actually likes the name.
Be creative in dating and surprising your beloved – most people, even though they will appreciate the gesture nonetheless, really are tired of many of the generic things. Put a little more thought process into your gift-giving and date nights – make them more calculated and meaningful. Tap into your sentimental side to make memorable memories and experiences for each other. It’s not all about money, it’s about creativity.
