Empowered, but still exhausted: Women talk modern dating
EVERY year on International Women’s Day (IWD), conversations about empowerment, equality and progress take centre stage. Panels are held, speeches are made, and social media fills with messages celebrating the strength and achievements of women.
But in the middle of the celebrations, another conversation needs to be had; one that rarely makes it into official speeches.
For many women, they feel empowered in their education, qualifications and careers. Yet when it comes to relationships, the landscape can feel frustratingly complicated. From relationships that blur emotional boundaries to partners who struggle with commitment or feel threatened by their independence, dating in today’s world often feels like navigating a maze with shifting rules.
During one recent pre-IWD gathering of a group of young women, they opened up about the modern dating experiences that continue to challenge them, despite living in an era that constantly promotes empowerment.
For them, Jamaican men’s obsession with being unattached can be draining.
“You spend months investing time and feelings,” one woman shared. “But when you ask what the relationship actually is, suddenly it’s ‘too much pressure’.”
Another added that the problem isn’t casual dating itself, but the lack of honesty surrounding it. “If someone just says they want something casual, that’s fine. But don’t act like we’re building something serious, and even involving children, while avoiding the label and just calling me your babymother.”
Another problem is how boundaries are sometimes interpreted negatively. Some of the women agreed that setting clear expectations, whether about respect, communication or exclusivity, can sometimes be met with resistance.
“You say what you’re comfortable with,” one woman explained, “and suddenly you’re ‘difficult’ or ‘too demanding’.”
Others pointed out that boundaries are often misunderstood as control, when in reality they are simply expressions of personal standards.
“When you know your worth and communicate it clearly, some men see that as intimidating,” one woman said. “But really it’s just about protecting your peace.”
Cheating also came up as a recurring concern. While infidelity is not a new problem, several women said the combination of social media and blurred relationship definitions can sometimes make trust even harder to maintain.
“It’s easier than ever to connect with someone new,” one woman noted. “But that also means people sometimes treat relationships as more disposable.”
Despite the frustrations, the women agreed that empowerment has still changed the way they approach dating.
“In the past, societal expectations often encouraged women to tolerate unhealthy dynamics or remain in relationships that did not meet their needs,” said counsellor Gavin Gray. “Today, many feel more confident choosing independence over staying in situations that compromise their well-being.”
“Empowerment doesn’t mean dating is easier,” one woman said. “It just means we’re less willing to settle.”
Gray said this shift is part of the progress IWD celebrates.
“One thing is becoming clearer, and it’s that empowerment isn’t just about career success or public recognition, it’s also about the freedom to demand respect, set boundaries, and choose relationships that truly align with who you are,” he said.
