Stand up guys to the rescue

WILL Smith may have made a boo-boo when he sought to defend Jada’s honour with a very public beatdown, but among the messages of condemnation have been a few calling him brave for standing up for his wife in the wake of teasing that made her feel bad.

American comedian Tiffany Haddish said Smith defending his wife was “the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”, while majority of the 3.8K commenters in the women’s Facebook group, A Woman’s Soul, said his wife should be proud.

Agree with his actions or not, the act raises the issue of how far a man will go to stand up for a woman, even when the repercussions may be harsh. An Associated Press piece, ‘Will Smith’s slap sparks debate on defence of black women’, said Smith’s actions have sparked debate about the appropriate ways for black men to publicly defend black women against humiliation and abuse.

“While many women have long rejected the misogynist premise that their safety and protection is the province of men, some see Smith’s professed defence of his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, as a principled act of love and pushback to those who say black men don’t do enough to protect black women,” author Aaron Morrison wrote.

What has been your experience with a man who sought to defend your honour?

Shawnette, 27:

My boss at work was always giving me a hard time — long hours, poor reviews, and when it came time for a bonus, I was excluded. All of this was not because I was underperforming, but because I had turned down his advances and reported him to human resources, which got him in trouble. So after that, he did everything to make my life hell. Things were so terrible that I thought of quitting, but I needed the benefits. My guy knew how tormented I was at work as I would vent to him. Fast-forward to our office Christmas party, where I brought my guy as my plus one. He asked me to point out who my boss was, and I thought he just wanted to see how he looked. Turns out he had gone to the same school as my boss, and he went over, and I don’t know what he said to him, but I saw my boss literally turn pale. From that night and until today, and this was about two years ago, my boss has been very respectful and fair in the workspace.

Natalia, 18:

I was on a bus heading home after 6:00 in the evening after choir practice at school, so it was pretty full, and I was standing. This creepy guy kept bothering me for my number, and each time I moved, he would move behind me, uncomfortably close. I told him to leave me alone several times, but he wouldn’t listen. The other men in the bus must have seen it, but did nothing. It was another student, who looked like a first former, who loudly confronted the man and called him a pervert and alerted the driver to what was happening. Only then did the other people start cursing, and the driver stopped and let the creep off the bus. That young man was obviously raised well.

Kim, 35:

I’m on a treasury committee in my neighbourhood community grouping and noticed that some funds were unaccounted for, and raised concern about it. It was obviously a touchy subject because all the men and women came down on me for my observation, and dared me to retract my statement. But I’m an auditor and was just stating what I noticed. Anyway, it was still the elephant in the room for a few more months, and they called a meeting to discuss my “meddling”. I expected things to get nasty so I asked my fiancé to take me there, and just stand outside. When I arrived they were all seated in a semi-circle with one chair in the middle for me, like I would be on trial. But once they saw my fiancé — who’s big and burly and exudes authority — their attitudes visibly changed. Suddenly they were using words like “oversight”, instead of accusing me of being bothersome. And since then, it has been nothing but respect, and I know it’s all because my fiancé made it obvious that he wouldn’t stand for any disrespect.