Lorraine Smith — Rising through the tears

IT is said that our identity is simply a collection of experiences, whether good or bad, that defines our life trajectory. For Lorraine Smith, her childhood encounters did just that.

Raised in Wynter’s Pen, St Catherine, Smith was known to look out for those who did not have much, following in her mother Zephlin Smith’s altruistic footsteps.

“I developed a love for people through seeing what my mother would do. I describe her as the first community social worker I knew as she would just help people out of the abundance of her heart. When she cooked my father would say, ‘Why you cook so much and it’s just the three of us’. She would say, ‘You never know, Richard, you never know,’ and that would turn out to be someone passing by the house who we could share our dinner with,” Smith told All Woman.

As fate would have it, these qualities became useful to Smith when, as a child, she had to assume the role of caregiver for both parents.

“There were days my mother was sick and couldn’t get out of bed. There were days I would go to school and wonder if I was going to come home and see her. My mother celebrated life even throughout her painful days. I’ve never seen a day throughout my mother’s life where she did not have pain — but she celebrated life. To me, that means life is important and it’s not about waiting until you reach that pinnacle where you no longer have problems. You will always have problems but it’s about taking time out to celebrate life,” she said.

After leaving St Catherine High School, Smith moved to the United States of America and attended college. She holds several degrees and licensures, including a master’s degree in mental health counselling. She is currently working on her doctorate in leadership and management. She is a licensed counsellor in the state of New Jersey, a national certified counsellor, a certified clinical mental health counsellor, certified adolescent trauma professional, and certified family trauma professional. She also specialises in working with individuals who have faced trauma, substance abuse, struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), active and former military personnel, and individuals on the autism spectrum.

Currently, Smith has penned a memoir, Through the Tears I Rise, dedicated to her mother for blessing her prior to her passing.

“This memoir shares some of the difficult times I faced while growing up in Jamaica and endured into my adult years when I emigrated to the USA with my family, but also how I overcame those difficulties through faith. The faith that the difficulties had a purpose in my life. These challenges include accidents, ill-health, caring for parents with disability, losing loved ones, and facing divorces. What it took for me to overcome each of the challenges faced, turning my struggles into stepping stones that helped me to raise my children and take care of my parents, recover from losing everything after my divorce, to building my own company after the death of my father and my own illness.

“Through the Tears I Rise highlights the importance of gratitude, what makes us bitter, how to be better not bitter regardless of the circumstances that surrounds you, how to turn your pain into gain, and that forgiveness is a gift for you. It will cause you to react to problems in a different way as they arise. This self-help guide shares resources that can support you in applying simple techniques to improve your moods and outlook, that comes with a full self-care guide that can assist you to refocus on living in your purpose. An encouragement to anyone that your purpose lies within you,” she said.

Smith added: “My childhood days were filled with me taking care of my mother. I wanted to share what helped me to rise, what made me move forward, and what continues to motivate me. While I had the love of my parents, I had to rely on my own faith and the desire to see myself complete what God gave me to do. I prayed for him to let me honour my parents by taking care of them, and he did. Though it wasn’t easy, I wanted to do it. When I faced my own illness, I had to again rely on my faith that things would get better and learn how to make decisions based on what my parents taught me, that core inner strength. I learnt how to turn the lemons into lemonade, not becoming bitter but looking for the sweet moments in life and live one day at a time. The struggles became my stepping stones that formulated into goals. These were my opportunities to climb to the next level – the tears became my morning dew that watered my faith and allowed growth. I learnt that change doesn’t mean the end, it can mean a new beginning.”

Moreover, the memoir seeks to reach those who may not get the opportunity to sit with a counsellor when they are faced with life’s difficulties, and it also addresses issues relating to children with disabilities and caring for them.

Further, Smith is the CEO of Solutions For U LLC, an organisation that supports individuals with all types of disabilities, and the founder and president of Creating Pathways To Success Inc, a non-profit organisation that mentors and promotes self-sufficiency. One of Smith’s core beliefs is in the importance of educating individuals to understand the mental health condition they are faced with as a means to empower them to better understand themselves and decrease the stigma they face in society, their community, and in their own family settings.

Outside of writing and counselling, Smith enjoys travelling, horseback riding, cooking, and listening to music. In her spare time she also reads and works on her children’s books that look at how children can understand and express emotions. She also enjoys spending time with her daughters Renee, Candice, and Jodi-Ann and her four grandchildren.

For Smith, who also does a lot of volunteer work and serves as co-chair of the Jamaica Diaspora North East, life is not a rehearsal and, as such, one must make the most of it.

“It’s one time and you don’t get a do-over, so live life to the fullest.”