‘My husband was a financial burden who was tying me down’
WE often hear that one of the reasons women stick to bad marriages or bad relationships is financial, as they’re, for one reason or another, bound to their men financially, and don’t have the resources to eke it out on their own. But there are other women who say that contrary to that belief, their financial journey after divorce hasn’t been as hard as imagined… in fact, for some, it’s been better than it was while in a union.
These three women share how they managed to rebound and ended up doing better financially than expected after they parted ways with their men.
Sade, 44, educator:
As a teacher with three kids, having a double-income household was crucial, especially for those times that pay was late or static for whatever reason. We struggled somewhat, but I always thought that I’d have it much harder as a single woman. But when I was unable to take the stagnation anymore, I had to just leave. Then I realised just how wrong I’d been. Getting rid of him meant that I was free in more ways than one — he had created massive amounts of debt, was eating into my income, and without him nagging and harassing me, my mental health got better, so I was visiting the doctor less and spending less on meds. Two years after my divorce I’ve saved more money than ever, and I didn’t realise that my husband was a financial burden who was tying me down. I get support for the children, and can balance my budget without accounting for the heavy load that was my spouse.
Kerry, 40, nurse:
He always criticised my dreams and I just felt stuck, and like I couldn’t achieve what I wanted. I was stuck in Jamaica for years, and each time I raised the idea of us both going abroad for work, he would say that his business was doing too well, and he could support both of us. Except that life was a constant struggle of bills and taxes and crime and stress. It was ‘love’ that kept me there for so long, and fear of not being able to make it alone. When he cheated it was my perfect opportunity to cut. I could have forgiven him like a good wife when he asked, but by then I had seen too many social media posts about travelling nurses making bank to care anymore. I got a quick divorce, changed back my name, and signed up with a nursing programme and have been working in America for four years now. I bought a house in Jamaica, and one here, and can vacation in Jamaica with my money.
Cavaughn, 34, businesswoman:
It’s scary and expensive at first, but eventually it gets better. The first year after the split was very hard, and my family would ask why I left my good life to struggle. I left with nothing but my car and my clothes, and he laughed and said I would come back. But by year two, I was establishing myself, and now I’m good. My ex was a terrible money manager whose life of bling and excess was just on the surface, and that’s what impressed people. But I knew that he was just stealing from Peter to pay Paul, and the earlier I escaped the better, before it all went bust. Now I have my own small business.