Roberto Kelly: Breaking the cycle of absentee fathers

“WE have a choice about how we take what happens to us in our life and whether or not we allow it to turn us. We can become consumed by hate and darkness, or we’re able to regain our humanity somehow, or come to terms with things and learn something about ourselves.”

These words by actress and film-maker Angeline Jolie, describe the approach that Roberto Kelly, settlement officer at JMMB Bank, decided to adopt on his journey to fatherhood.

“From the moment I knew I was expecting my first child, I already knew the type of father I wanted to be, because I had a lot of practice with my niece and nephews, I wanted to be an ever-present and fun dad,” he shared.

Although the product of a single-parent home, Kelly made the bold choice to be the type of father to his children that he yearned for as a child, instead of harbouring resentment and fears about his ability to be a great dad.

Describing his upbringing as a humble one where his single mother, Vernella Douglas-Roberts, raised him and his sisters on a diet of love and discipline, he said at the time he didn’t understand it (the strict discipline), and even found it harsh at times.

“But now that I am an adult and have my own children, I appreciate all she did and realise my mother was just trying her best,” he said.

Her actions were meant to keep him safe from the negative influences often associated with boys who grew up without their fathers, and curb the influence of the unsavoury characters in his community.

“My father was a soldier, so growing up I wanted to be just like him…it’s funny that although my dad wasn’t around as much as my mother, it seemed like I loved him more, but really I just craved him more,” he shared, as he described the void he experienced.

In addition to the emotional toll that his father’s absence had, his absence was also felt financially. This impacted Kelly’s academic achievement, as his mother was faced with the lion’s share of the financial responsibilities. On completing fifth form at Bridgeport High School, Kelly was unable to sit any CSEC examinations due to non-payment of fees. Not being daunted by these financial constraints, he turned to construction as an income earner so that he could assist his mother and become financially independent.

“With the unreliability of jobs and issues with being paid on time, I realised construction was not going to work out and so I decided to ask a neighbour (at the time) to help me to get a job as a security officer,” he said.

Joining the team at Ranger Protection and Security (now Hawkeye) would become the unorthodox route of entering the financial sector for Kelly, who always had his sight set on financial security and stability.

“I remember the first time I joined the JMMB team like it was yesterday. I had worked at the Portmore branch as a security officer for four years, and on the recommendation of Michelle Whitely and Teverly Gray I interviewed for the position of utility transaction officer (UTO) in October 2012. In fact, I went to the interview in my security uniform.

“I never saw myself working in finance and so when they (Michelle and Teverly) approached me I was so shocked that they saw something in me…”

As the saying goes, the rest his history.

While balancing the duties as a UTO, Kelly accelerated his academic pursuits, completing additional subjects to qualify him to later enrol in an associate degree programme at Portmore Community College. In 2014, he was promoted to express transaction officer and transferred to the central processing unit, expanding his knowledge and expertise in branch operations. Finding the balance with nurturing a romantic relationship, self-care, career and academics was next to impossible, and that feat became even more difficult with the birth of his daughter Rojhea in 2016, while pursuing his degree in business administration.

“It was really hard, I’m not lying, and the truth is right after she was born I was struggling in school. I even failed a few subjects but I just kept going with the motivation. I couldn’t let down those who depended on me and believed in me. My daughter became an additional motivation.”

The relationship with his now father-in-law, Aaron Panther, also stoked his determination to complete his degree, as he recalls the close bond and the example that he set for his own children. Kelly wanted to replicate that for his daughter. With the strength of character to rise above the challenges, and the sacrifice and support of his family, he was able to cross the stage with degree in tow.

The proud girl dad admits that his daughters propel his drive to succeed, as he wants to lead by example, demonstrating that anything is possible with hard work and determination.

“I want to be a better parent to my children, and provide for all their needs and protect them,” he said.

Describing himself as a “hands-on dad who helps with homework, attends PTA meetings and is just generally there for my daughters”, Kelly said he tries to be a friend and even a playmate at times.

“I want to create an unbreakable bond with them so that when they are adults they will describe the relationship with their dad as a positive one,” he said.